I'm Still Not Having Your Baby, Curtis

Large black male student to tiny white female student: Stretch marks are awesome! They make you look like a tiger! (makes tiger claw gesture) Raaar!

High School
Lincoln Park, Michigan

Overheard by: The teacher

Posted on July 4, 2020
Animals, Black people, Compare and contrast, Fat people, Health & Hygiene, Michigan, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Whiteys

Because He’s a Poorly-Drawn Character?

Teacher: Small things amuse small minds, Timothy.
Kid: Then why does Dumbledore laugh at such stupid shit?

Emerald
Australia

Posted on June 28, 2020
Australia, Questions, Students, Teachers

Will It Make a Difference If He’s Guatemalan?

Chick: Just imagine — you go home and your mother has a hot Ecuadorian boy stashed in the back bedroom.

University of Tulsa
Tulsa, Oklahoma

Posted on June 27, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Gossip, Oklahoma, Students

Perhaps Another Bong Hit Will Clarify Things

Professor: What does 95% confidence mean?
Weird kid: It means there are 95 parallel universes between the values!
Professor: Well I don't know about that.

Kalamazoo, Michigan

Posted on June 18, 2020
Education, Michigan, Questions, Science, Students, Teachers, Weirdness

You Can't Shame Me Into the Army

College guy: I'm scared!
College girl: Just do it!
College guy: No, I'm scared!
College girl: Be a man!
College guy: I don't wanna!

Salisbury, Maryland

Posted on June 7, 2020
Advice, Fears, Gender issues, Maryland, Students, Wishes

I Just Want to Graduate, I Don't Want to Know Anything

Undergrad on cell: And the paper has to be, like, 10 to 12 pages long! (pause) I know! I'm like, “I'm not writing my freaking thesis here!”

Bus
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Posted on June 6, 2020
Bus, Education, Gripes, Minnesota, On the phone, Students

The Large Group Ones Are a Logistical Nightmare

Peer-taught health class leader: Small group condom practice! Wooot!

Eugene, Oregon

Overheard by: nyssa

Posted on June 6, 2020
Class, Condoms, Default, Education, Oregon, Students, Words

It's Even Worse in Chicago.

8th grade health teacher, answering why you can't put a condom on when you're not erect: So…um, when it's not hard, it's just like there, you know, flapping in the wind…

Silver Spring, Maryland

Overheard by: nice thought…

Posted on June 5, 2020
Compare and contrast, Condoms, Erections, Maryland, Penis, Students, Teachers

Case in Point

Student: Well, sometimes you ask questions that have answers that might not be the answer you are looking for!
Professor: Are you calling me fat?

Michigan State University, Michigan

Posted on May 29, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Default, Diet & weight, Michigan, Questions, Students, Teachers, Weirdness

I Didn’t Know They Made Thongs That Big

Male student: So, how’s your new roommate?
Female student: Well, she has one hundred thirty-three thongs.
Male student: She sounds like a horrible person.

Maryland Institute College of Art
Baltimore, Maryland

Posted on May 22, 2020
Clothes, Colleges & Universities, Default, Girls, Gossip, Gripes, Guys, Maryland, Questions, Students

Students