Students

Girl walking through campus: I can't believe you, I'm sitting in my living room in nothing but a towel, with mascara streaming down my face and you don't even care!

George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia

Overheard by: You sit on a throne of lies

College guy #1: I think racism is just really bad OCD!
College guy #2: Haha, yeah!

University of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Yes

Student: I bet half of the kids are still going to show up at the computer room.
Teacher: You think half of them will, or half of them won’t?

East Meadow Drive
Palo Alto, California

Student: Professor, can you repeat that question?
Professor: I can’t remember! I just make this shit up.

American University
Washington, DC

College guy: I went to sleep-away camp so long ago my counselor was Jesus Christ!

University of Rochester
Rochester, New York

Student: So then I turned round and there was a snake in my bacon!

Birchwood Community High School
Warrington
England

College girl to three friends, completely serious: Yeah, I guess his penis had epilepsy or something.

College Dining Hall
Pennsylvania

Student: Hey bruh, can I ansuh?!
Teacher: Yeah, sure… Wait, what did you call me?
Student: Bruh?
Teacher, grining: That made my day!

Nashville, Tennessee

Girl: But I’m graduating soon, so I don’t need spoons anymore!

Montclair State University
New Jersey

Student selling pink ribbon bracelets: Professor, would you like to buy some bracelets? They're for a good cause.
Professor: Sure, I'll take five. One for each appendage.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania