All Those Slip-and-Fall Accidents Are Smitings

Religion teacher to class of girls: And remember girls, always wear a bikini in the shower, because god is always watching you.

Dublin
Ireland

Posted on July 26, 2020
Advice, Bathing, Clothes, God, Ireland, Students, Teachers, Weirdness

And, in Our Lab Session, We'll Demonstrate It.

Professor: And tomorrow, we'll talk about the suck knob.

University of Hartford
Connecticut

Posted on July 20, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Connecticut, Education, Sensory experiences, Teachers, Weirdness

A Dicktatorship?

Professor: So Russia had this really phallus-oriented system of government…

University
Newfoundland
Canadia

Overheard by: Mel

Posted on July 6, 2020
Canadia, Colleges & Universities, Education, Gender issues, History, Penis, Stupidity, Teachers

Because He’s a Poorly-Drawn Character?

Teacher: Small things amuse small minds, Timothy.
Kid: Then why does Dumbledore laugh at such stupid shit?

Emerald
Australia

Posted on June 28, 2020
Australia, Questions, Students, Teachers

Though I Would Advise Against Googling the TA. Shudder

Professor: So I was looking through your online homework and I tried out the first question and I got it wrong. So I suggest you google the answer. You can find anything on google.

Bellingham, Washington

Overheard by: Condones This

Posted on June 24, 2020
Advice, Education, Internet, Questions, Teachers, Washington

Unlike My Grading Scale

Professor: The guillotine was humane. It was just humane many thousands of times.

Oberlin, Ohio

Overheard by: Secret Spy

Posted on June 22, 2020
Class, Default, History, Murder, Ohio, Teachers, Weirdness, Words

Perhaps Another Bong Hit Will Clarify Things

Professor: What does 95% confidence mean?
Weird kid: It means there are 95 parallel universes between the values!
Professor: Well I don't know about that.

Kalamazoo, Michigan

Posted on June 18, 2020
Education, Michigan, Questions, Science, Students, Teachers, Weirdness

Can't Answer. Crashing.

Skinny boy at the back of the classroom: I had a Pop-Tart for breakfast!
Teacher, horrified: Why? Oh my god, why?!

Middle School
North Carolina

Posted on June 13, 2020
Food, Gripes, North Carolina, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Skinny people, Teachers

It's Even Worse in Chicago.

8th grade health teacher, answering why you can't put a condom on when you're not erect: So…um, when it's not hard, it's just like there, you know, flapping in the wind…

Silver Spring, Maryland

Overheard by: nice thought…

Posted on June 5, 2020
Compare and contrast, Condoms, Erections, Maryland, Penis, Students, Teachers

The More Absurd It Is, the Better. Like Christianity

Gym teacher, during stretches: If you do it this way, it makes it easier and also more challenging.

Henry Wise Wood High School
Calgary
Canadia

Posted on June 4, 2020
Advice, Canadia, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Guys, Idiots, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Stupidity, Teachers, Words

Teachers