Can't Answer. Crashing.

Skinny boy at the back of the classroom: I had a Pop-Tart for breakfast!
Teacher, horrified: Why? Oh my god, why?!

Middle School
North Carolina

Posted on June 13, 2020
Food, Gripes, North Carolina, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Skinny people, Teachers

It's Even Worse in Chicago.

8th grade health teacher, answering why you can't put a condom on when you're not erect: So…um, when it's not hard, it's just like there, you know, flapping in the wind…

Silver Spring, Maryland

Overheard by: nice thought…

Posted on June 5, 2020
Compare and contrast, Condoms, Erections, Maryland, Penis, Students, Teachers

The More Absurd It Is, the Better. Like Christianity

Gym teacher, during stretches: If you do it this way, it makes it easier and also more challenging.

Henry Wise Wood High School
Calgary
Canadia

Posted on June 4, 2020
Advice, Canadia, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Guys, Idiots, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Stupidity, Teachers, Words

Case in Point

Student: Well, sometimes you ask questions that have answers that might not be the answer you are looking for!
Professor: Are you calling me fat?

Michigan State University, Michigan

Posted on May 29, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Default, Diet & weight, Michigan, Questions, Students, Teachers, Weirdness

And What Kind Of a Lame-Ass Answer Is “Energy”?

Tutor: So what are some things you associate with lemons?
Student #1: Yellow!
Student #2: Energy!
Student #3: Gin-an-tonic!
Tutor: What? Genitalia? Who said genitalia?

Massey University
Wellington
New Zealand

Posted on May 10, 2020
Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Drinking & drunks, Fruit, New Zealand, Questions, Students, Teachers, Words

After a Nasty Court Battle, She Got the Egg Back

Crazy English professor: Now, Herrick — his poems are like eggs… I used to have an ostrich egg… I knew the ostrich, too… Not that it makes any difference.

Birmingham-Southern College
Birmingham, Alabama

Overheard by: poetrywhat?

Posted on May 7, 2020
Alabama, Animals, Colleges & Universities, Teachers

No Australian Is One Of Those

Maths teacher: Girls, what you need to do is try and think like a mathematician.
Student: Why, miss? We're not mathematicians.
Maths teacher: Yes, you are. Whenever you do maths, you're a mathematician.
Student: What about when we're in English class? Does that make us engleticians?

Australia

Posted on April 24, 2020
Advice, Australia, Default, Education, Questions, Students, Teachers, Words

Would You Like One?

Professor: I have three children: 15, 13, and 7.
Female student: Oh, I don't think I could have three.
Male student: Yeah, with two you can do person-on-person defense, but with three you need zone.
professor: You have a point.

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/08/just-reminder-that-football-season.html

Overheard by: Ian

Posted on April 13, 2020
Age and ageing, Compare and contrast, Default, Eavesdrop DC, Girls, Guys, Kids, Students, Teachers

Now That Metal Rods Are the Latest Fashion Craze

Teacher: Okay, now what you do think is the chance of being killed by being struck by lightning?
Bimbette: Ummmm… probably like, one in two.
Class: (silence)
Teacher: One in two?
Bimbette: Wait! Make that one in ten.

Classroom
Sydney
Australia

Posted on April 10, 2020
Australia, Bimbettes, Class, Education, Murder, Questions, Science, Sensory experiences, Students, Stupidity, Teachers

You're Just Supposed to Be Having Sex Shamefully in Cars and Stairwells

Boy: Yo soy sexy.
Teacher, hyperventilating: You can't say you're sexy! You're only fifteen years old!

Spanish Class
El Paso, Texas

Posted on March 26, 2020
Age and ageing, Beauty, Bragging, Education, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sexuality, Students, Teachers, Texas

Teachers