Girl, wearing leather pants and high heels, pushing a cart containing D batteries, duct tape, and huge bag of rice, on cell: I don’t know why he’s so smug, I told him what I would do to him if I caught him again. [pause] Okay, well I’ve almost got everything I need, I’ll be right over.
Wal-Mart
Lufkin, Texas
Overheard by: wtf?
Professor, in regards to nationalism in film: Now what makes a film “British”?
Valedictorian: They all speak British?
University of Texas
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: Adam
Four-year-old girl skipping down aisle, singing: Penis, penis, tickle, tickle, penis.
Wal-Mart
Carrollton, Texas
Overheard by: Iron Cowgirl
Drunk girl: I hope I get my ass kicked for eating this salad!
Houston, Texas
Female student #1: What does your tattoo mean?
Female student #2: Courage.
Female student #1: I want to get a tattoo!
Female student #2: What do you want to get?
Female student #1: Across my back I want a fairy… wearing lingerie.
Female student #2: Oh… Okay… That would be nice…
Houston Community College
Houston, Texas
Biotech on cell: Oh my god, she is so stupid! She goes home all the freaking time. Like, just last weekend she had to go home for her dying friend.
Texas Christian University
Fort Worth, Texas
Woman on cell: So I told him to quit being a titty and put it in the backseat.
Amarillo, Texas
Overheard by: Flossy Jossie
Nerd #1: His dad was in the first white reggae band in San Antonio.
Nerd #2: Wow.
Nerd #1: Yeah. So it’s, like, in his blood.
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: texan tempest
Pharmacy assistant holding phone to pharmacist: This guy on the phone found some prescription bottles in a drawer and wants to know what they are. Can you talk to him?
Pharmacist: Did he eat them already?
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: mmm….mystery pills
