Texas

Restaurant server on smoke break: How were the ladies at the bar?
Drunk man: Those bitches were hot. And I mean “bitches” in the best possible way.
Server: When I say “bitches,” I mean “hoes.”

Plano, Texas

Woman: I found the nipple! Crisis averted.

N. Bishop Avenue
Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Faith

Girl #1: You know it really makes me sad that after all this time you still don't appreciate my art.
Girl #2: That isn't art, you found it in your underwear!

Amarillo, Texas

Middle aged redneck to cute four-year-old girl: You’re just as sharp as your great granddaddy! You’re gonna grow up to write about public restrooms in America!

Gas Station
Waco, Texas

Boy: Yo soy sexy.
Teacher, hyperventilating: You can't say you're sexy! You're only fifteen years old!

Spanish Class
El Paso, Texas

Very pregnant woman: I don't want to have this baby. I don't want to have to work all of this weight off.
Man: I think I should keep you pregnant. This is the least worst you've ever looked.

Hasting's
Wichita Falls, Texas

Overheard by: mikeface

Sloppily-dressed teen girl to another: Do you know how many new outfits I would have to buy to carry a baby around for nine months?

Sam Houston State University
Huntsville, Texas

Guy #1 (after guy #2 leaves): Man, I hate him so much.
Girl: What? Why?
Guy #1: Ever since he fell out that window and almost died and shit, girls have been all over him. He's a goddam womanizer.
Girl: He is pretty cute.

Houston, Texas

Little girl sitting in shopping cart to mother: I love you more than the car! That's a lot,right, mommy? (thinks a while) More than the lights, too!

Wal-Mart
Weslaco,Texas

Overheard by: I love Mommy too

Girl to male cat: You're so cute! You smell like bacon… but that's okay.

Lewisville, Texas