And Then Only Because It Was on the Marriage Certificate

Thugette: I went out with him for like two weeks before I even found out his name.

East Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: marcosx

Posted on December 8, 2020
Canadia, Relationships, Thugs, Weirdness

Guess Somebody Wants to Go to College

Teacher to chatty class: Everyone, quiet, we have to go over this!
(class continues chatting)
Guy in the back: I will kill you all.
(class falls silent)

High School
Chesapeake, Virginia

Posted on September 7, 2020
Education, Offers and requests, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Teachers, Threats, Thugs, Virginia

What about a Shapeshifter Disguised As Data?

Thug #1: Is it cheatin’ if you do it on the holodeck?
Thug #2: Nah. Fucking data doesn’t count either.

Target
Reston, Virginia

Overheard by: Carly

Posted on May 13, 2020
Questions, Thugs, Virginia

None Of Them Are Filtered

Teen gangsta wannabe yelling to small boy on playground: No, I wasn't, I don't smoke! He was just transferring the smoke to my mouth! (pause) Never mind! I'm not gay!

Park
Cincinnati, Ohio

Posted on March 27, 2020
Kids, Mouth, Ohio, Sexuality, Smoking, Teens, Thugs

Well, When the Penis Is Erect and the Vagina Is Lubricated…

Gangsta guy: So Brenda had sex with her cousin, but didn't know it was her cousin.
Woman: How do you do that?!

DePaul University
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on February 29, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Family ties, Illinois, Questions, Sex, Thugs, Women

Israelis Will Even Give You an Argument About That

Drunk black gangster guy, on Tel Aviv centennial celebration: I am Moses! I am Moses!
(traffic light changes, he throws arms up in air) Israelis, you may now walk!

Tel Aviv
Israel

Overheard by: E-lad

Posted on August 31, 2019
Black people, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Israel, Religion, Stupidity, Thugs

…Full Of Heroin?

Middle-aged black woman to husband: Baby, you remember that time I shot you?

CVS
Indianapolis, Indiana

Posted on April 29, 2019
Crimes, Default, Hubbies, Memory lane, Questions, Relationships, Stores, Thugs, Violence, Women

But I Don't Think Becoming a Baller Is a Reasonable Goal, Peewee.

Thug to friend: I ain't no dream killer!

Seattle, Washington

Posted on February 3, 2019
Friends, Murder, Thugs, Washington, Weirdness

Can You Picture Martha Stewart on a Public Bus?

Thug #1: Why the hell are you going all the way to back of the train car? Why don’t we sit in the front like that Martha Stewart woman?
Thug #2: What the fuck are you talking about Martha Stewart?
Thug #1: You know, she stood up for herself on the bus? Wait, who was that? Not Martha Stewart?

Orange Line at Downtown Crossing
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: drunkbigirls

Posted on December 20, 2017
Compare and contrast, Friends, History, Massachusetts, Names, Politics, Questions, Race, Stupidity, Thugs, Train

I Appreciate Your Candor

Teenage thug to passing woman: Hey yo baby! I ain’t gonna lie, I got a big dick!

Hollywood and Highland
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Has that ever worked?

Posted on March 3, 2017
Bragging, California, Compliments, Etiquette, Offers and requests, Penis, Pride, Sexuality, Teens, Thugs, Words

Thugs