Male tour guide: So, this building is wh…
Sorostitute: Oh my god! Mike! (hugs tour guide)
Male tour guide: Hi…how are you?
Sorostitute: I'm great, but I gotta run, call me!
Mom in tour: I thought you said your name was Josh!
Male tour guide: It is…I don't know who that was.
Eastern Michigan University
Professor: Isn't Jim just a perplexing guy? I read his stories and I'm just like, “what's wrong with him?” Jim, you're just stoned all the time, aren't you? Are you stoned right now?
Jim: No!
Professor: But were you stoned earlier today?
Jim: Yes. But only because I was hungover!
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Woman to friend: And then he said the “g” word, which I never thought he'd say…
Footpath
Australia
Overheard by: Genophobia?
Girl: It's hard to listen to his lectures, but he has crutches so he's fun to look at.
UC
Santa Cruz, California
Very large man, staring down at his junk in front of urinal: Come on now, baby, you can do it, come on…
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Dan
Young female hill staffer #1: Right there in the friggin' book stacks…
Young female hill staffer #2: You were friggin' in the book stacks?
Young female hill staffer #1: Damn girl, I was watching, not doing.
Young female hill staffer #2: Wasted opportunity, if you ask me. I'd have joined in, or embarrassed the hell out of them till they let me in.
Capitol Hill South Metro Station
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Yoda
Teen girl, yelling at computer screen: Oh, you willy shiver!
Totara Park
New Zealand
Overheard by: Schmitty
Teacher: If you could be any vegetable, what would you be?
Random black student: I'd be a strawberry.
University of Florida
Overheard by: amused greatly
Crazy Polish man: I need a receipt!
Cashier: Sir, you can't have a receipt if you didn't buy anything.
Crazy Polish man: I need a receipt. I need a receipt or I'll kill you…because I am Osama Bin Laden.
Starbucks
New York City, New York
Undergrad student: Where are the nursing faculty?
University secretary: Pumping.
College
Missouri
Overheard by: rami
