Party host to guest: Watch out for the skunk in the bathroom.
Guest: What?
Party host: Seriously.
Columbus, Indiana
Overheard by: Projection1234
Random guy: Dudes! I just wasted 30,000 feet of caution tape!
Sheetz
Pennsylvania
Girl: You know, you were in my dream last night.
Guy: Oh, really? What was happening?
Girl: Well, …you were trying to kill me.
Guy: Oh… that wasn't a dream.
Oviedo, Florida
Overheard by: Um…
Man on cell: Hey man! Sorry I couldn't make it, I've got tons of widows waiting on me!
Eccles Tennis center
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: Brittni
(outside of a coffee shop downtown late at night)
Hipster chick: So then I went to the store and found out the shoes were discontinued but…
Creepy guy (with unzipped and unbuttoned pants): What are you guys talking about? Can I talk or are you going to kick me out?
Hipster chick: Uh… (looks around for a quick exit) No man, you can stay. We're talking about shoes.
Creepy guy: You're so hot. No, really. I would kiss you like you'd never think about shoes again.
Akron, Ohio
Overheard by: Julia M
Guy on phone: Does she move when you have sex with her? Maybe that's the problem.
University Park, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Bill
Girl to friend: Well, I woke up naked, again, with a quesadilla in my bed, again, so I say it was a pretty average night.
Eclipse de Sol Restaurant
Atlanta, Georgia
Dude: Just because you masturbate to llama/turtle porn…
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
