Weirdness

Freakishly tall chick: Could you imagine a primordial dwarf in my family? The kid would kill me as soon as they could wield a weapon of some kind, because I'd laugh at them so much.
Friend: Or he'd turn the hatred outwards, and be a serial killer. Oh man, could you imagine, a primordial dwarf serial killer?
Freakishly tall chick: That would be awesome.

Aurora, Colorado

Overheard by: Lee

Drunk girl: I hear Michael Caine peeing!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Cat being carried by a morning walker: Meaow! Meaow meaow!
Morning walker: Yeah yeah yeah, okay. Then what happened?
Cat: Meaow!
Morning walker: Really? So what did you do?

Joggers Park
Vashi, Bombay
India

(outside the university library)
Guy #1: So you scored.
Guy #2: And I know the holocaust inside and out.

Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia

Drunk girl stumbling down the street with open umbrella on a sunny day: Shhhh, we have to pretend to be sober.

Leeds
England

Little boy (loudly): I want to eat poop.
Mom (who clearly wasn't paying attention): What, honey?
Little boy: I would like to eat poop.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: JessH.

Crazy homeless dude: One time this guy called the cops and said I was waiving a scalpel above my head. They put me in an institution for 72 hours. I kept trying to explain to them why I had the scalpel, and they just kept telling me I wasn't a doctor.

Berkeley, California

Overheard by: Brooke

Girl to friend: I mean, they have everything. I don't need anything… they have gold, knives, drugs…
Friend: (nods in agreement)

Shopper's Drug Mart
Toronto
Canadia

Bimbette shouting from crowd: Why does everyone want me to eat shit out of their mouths today?

Michigan Tech
Houghton, Michigan

Police officer: So that's when they started pulling baseball bats out of their pants?
Guy: Yeah, baseball bats and machetes!

Tysons Corner
Fairfax County, Virginia

Overheard by: Jack