Pastor: Next week we have something very exciting! We have an organist coming into Sunday school! He will be demonstrating to us how he uses his organ, so make sure to come because you won't want to miss it!
Church
Alhambra, California
Pastor: Next week we have something very exciting! We have an organist coming into Sunday school! He will be demonstrating to us how he uses his organ, so make sure to come because you won't want to miss it!
Church
Alhambra, California
Girl: Oh, hold on, I have to ejaculate my disk.
Montreal
Quebec
Canadia
Girl on cell phone: So I got a little finger action this week, but I said ‘No’ so it’s okay.
Cleveland, Ohio
Overheard by: Justin
Physics professor demonstrating electrical charges: I have my magic wand and my magic fur. Now, I’m going to rub my magic wand with my magic fur!
Allegheny College
Meadville, Pennsylvania
Student: How do you spell “wear”? W-e-a-r? (pause) That is the stupidest thing I've ever said.
San Diego, California
Female heard through the wall, after giving blow job: That's all you have to say? “Thanks?”
Male, through wall: Moshi-moshi.
Female, exasperated: See, that's your problem! Half the time you don't even speak English anymore!
Male: That was “thank you” in Japanese.
Female: Oh.
Norman, Oklahoma
Woman with two toddlers, ordering cake: I need a P-E-N-I-S cake…
Manager, walking in, gleefully oblivious: Ohhh, a penis cake! We can put fake hair on it. Last time, we had fake semen shooting out…
Huntington, California
Professor: So, I can see that some of you try to care about my feelings, and others don't give a fig.
Student #1: Whoa! Could you not use such harsh vegetables?
(entire class goes silent)
Student #2: I didn't know a “fig” was a vegetable.
Student #3: I thought it was a grape. A dried grape.
Johnson & Wales University
Providence, Rhode Island
Wadsworth character in the movie Clue: You see, my secret is that my wife was a socialist.
Girl watching the film: So, does that mean that she was a prostitute or something?
French class, All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia
White girl to white guy: Oh, I get it. So a baller pops his collar.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Emmitt
