Guy #1: Dude, I wonder how Orville Redenbacher is still in all those commercials when he's been dead for, like, a bazillion years?
Guy #2: Maybe he's a zombie.
Guy #1: Or a robot.
Guy #3: Or a zombie robot.
Guy #1: Seriously, dude. I think you've been reading too much sci-fi.
Bellingham, Washington
English teacher, reading Hamlet: “To die, to sleep; To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come…” Alright class, we'll pick it up from there on Monday.
Frat boy #1: What the fuck was that about?
Frat boy #2: I don't know, man. Let's go kill some zombies.
Gettysburg College
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Alyssa
Sophomore #1, during heated debate about zombie safety: Wait! What if there were alien zombies?
Sophomore #2: Shut up! We're talking about realistic stuff, here!
Theatre Class, Rossview High
Clarksville, Tennessee
Blonde wife: You do realize that our son is going to tell his schoolmates that Jesus is either a zombie or a vampire. Then we are going to have to explain to his teacher that we are Jewish.
Asian husband: And that you are just bad at explaining things?
Houston, Texas
Drunk teen: … Then it just turned into one zombie fellating the other zombie…
Wisconsin
Sane-looking girl: Okay, so let's say that your boyfriend died a while back, right? Then he comes back as a zombie, like a real walking corpse. But he doesn't want to eat your brains or anything, he just wants to graduate high school and be your boyfriend again so he can go to prom with you. So, do you take him back?
Boy: Um… Has this actually happened to you?
High School Cafeteria
West Virginia
Woman #1, coming out of movie theater: I want to see Zombieland when it comes out.
Woman #2: That's way too scary for you.
Woman #1: No, it's not!
Woman #2: You couldn't handle Coraline.
Woman #1: Because that movie is terrifying! (shudders)
Denver, Colorado
Girl to guy: Most Shakespeare works could have totally been done with zombies!
Kennesaw State University, Georgia
Overheard by: Dr. Hypokrit
