Woman #1: I've always wanted to go to London.
Woman #2: I've never really wanted to fly overseas, but one place I would like to go is Venice.
Woman #1: Venice? Really?
Woman #2: Yeah. But I'd like to have a nice Italian man to go with me, like Antonio Banderas.
Bloomsburg, Pennsylvania
Guy #1: Dude, I wonder how Orville Redenbacher is still in all those commercials when he's been dead for, like, a bazillion years?
Guy #2: Maybe he's a zombie.
Guy #1: Or a robot.
Guy #3: Or a zombie robot.
Guy #1: Seriously, dude. I think you've been reading too much sci-fi.
Bellingham, Washington
Guy: My favorite thing about Halle Berry is her vagina.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Shlange
Guy #1: I think you'd make a great Paris Hilton.
Guy #2: I do have a very womanly figure.
Guy #1: And you're a whore.
Chicago, Illinois
Girl #1: Tyra will never be as good as Oprah. The Tyra show just doesn’t have the credibility that the Oprah show has.
Girl #2: Well, Tyra does serious shows sometimes; like when Hilary Duff is on.
Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama
Woman to son: That's the dress Larry Bird Johnson wore to the inauguration.
First Ladies Exhibit, Smithsonian
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Dave White
Girl: So Natalie Portman is speaking tonight. I want to go.
Boy: What is it about?
Girl: Poverty, but who cares? It’s Natalie Portman.
Boy: Yeah, fuck poverty, she’s hot.
University
Berkeley, California
Kid #1: Michael Jackson? I think he died.
Kid #2: He died?
Kid #1: Yeah. He killed someone and then he died.
Kid #2: Oh, yeah, I remember.
Golden Corral
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Girl watching Christian Bale in The Dark Knight: If I had a cock I'd so fuck him in the mouth.
Racine, Wisconsin
Dave Matthews Band groupie: Dude, the violinist totally screwed Dave up. He, like, totally blew his wad all over Dave’s song!
Starwood Amphitheater merchandise stand
Nashville, Tennessee
