Pilot standing at door to plane after pulling into gate: Shit! I totally didn't mean to park here!
Airport
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Pilot standing at door to plane after pulling into gate: Shit! I totally didn't mean to park here!
Airport
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Girl: Promise me you won't fall in love with a Mexican while you're gone and leave me forever.
Boy: You're so racist sometimes.
Girl: I can't help it!
International Airport
Portland, Oregon
Marine #1, on plane: Since you got the window seat, I might lean my head on your shoulder for part of this flight. Not in a gay way, more in a I'm-tired-and-want-to-lean-my-head-on-something kind of way.
Marine #2: Alright, but I might have to smack you. Not in an I-hate-you kind of way, more in a get-your-head-off-my-damn-shoulder kind of way.
Airplane
Atlanta, Georgia
40-something guy: Dr. Phil man, he showed up for Britney, maybe he'll show up for me.
Airport Baggage Claim
Newark, New Jersey
Overheard by: Sarah
Security agent: What's in the box, sir?
Guy with cardboard box: Pot. (long pause, then slowly) A ceramic pot.
Durango Airport
Durango Colorado
Customs officer to woman with a cat: Can you prove that this cat is Canadian?
Canadian Customs
Pearson Airport, Toronto
Canadia
Gray-haired lady: It smells like tacos in here.
Older blue-haired lady, gesturing toward Latino family several feet away: I think it's those people over there.
Metropolitan Airport
Detroit, Michigan
Flight attendant, describing Australia's quarantine practices: And if you do not declare any foodstuff and you get caught you may face on-the-spot fines, or prostitution.
Flight to Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: Erik
Teenager: Hey, which terminal is baggage claim?
Airport employee: Terminal T.
Teenager: Wait…which one?
Airport employee: Terminal T. “T” as in “Charlie.”
JFK Airport
New York City, New York
Overheard by:
Woman on PA system: Attention. Please disregard the call for wheelchair assistance at gate A-5. Repeat: there is no wheelchair needed at gate A-5. It's a miracle!
Airport
Rochester, New York
Overheard by: Patty Astrolabe
