Woman on cell: I'm coming to LA to make 100 Egyptian army uniforms, then I'm going back.
International Airport
El Paso, Texas
Overheard by: V
Woman on cell: I'm coming to LA to make 100 Egyptian army uniforms, then I'm going back.
International Airport
El Paso, Texas
Overheard by: V
Pilot: There is no smoking on this aircraft. The penalty for smoking is two thousand dollars. If you had that kind of money, you’d probably be flying United.
Southwest Airlines flight
Overheard by: broke
Passenger to attendant: Excuse me? They turned the movie off.
Attendant: Yes, we're landing earlier than thought.
Passenger: Oh, but the movie wasn't over.
Attendant: Sorry about that, but we need to turn it off for descent.
Passenger: But I was watching it!
Attendant: I am very sorry, but since we have started our descent…
Passenger, interrupting: But now I don't know how it ends!
Attendant: They all lived happily ever after.
Qantas Flight to Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: Seat 14 F
Aging dork #1: I like Star Trek, but not Star Wars because they never pay attention to physics.
Aging dork #2: William Shatner is a pimp.
Peterson Air Force Base
Colorado
Pilot over loudspeaker (riffing on harmonica): This is your captain speaking, (harmonica riff) Welcome aboard, (harmonica riff) Please fasten your seat belts. (harmonica riff) Or we won't be able to leave beautiful Atlanta, Georgia.
(does long, jazzy harmonica riff. Passengers applaud)
Pilot (in Elvis voice): Thank you very much.
American Airlines Flight
Atlanta, Georgia
Flight attendant: Okay, everyone, we're going to be landing soon. We would like to be the first to welcome you to reality…I mean, Cleveland.
Plane over Cleveland, Ohio
Confused lady on PA: Ladies and gentleman, flight 250… Wait, where am I?
Airport
Salt Lake City, Utah
(strange loud sound comes from the plane)
Calm but confused flight attendant: That's weird, I've never heard that before.
Freaked out passenger: Um, excuse me? What?!
Flight to Cancun, Mexico
Man: Excuse me, but your skirt is caught on your bag and it's pulling your skirt all the way up.
Young woman (annoyed): Excuse me! Can't you see I'm on the fucking phone?!
Man: Fine then–walk around with your ass hanging out–see if I care.
Young woman (into her phone): Oh my god! Some guy just totally came up and told me that my ass is showing! (walks off with skirt still showing)
Airport
Sydney
Australia
Obese middle-aged tourist to husband: I called him and told him we're at passenger pick-up 2. He called and asked where we'd be, and I said passenger pick-up 2, that's where he can find us. It's just easier to find us when he gets here. Passenger pick-up 2. And it's cold. That's why I brought this vest. I brought this vest in case it got cold, and it got cold. I'm going to button it up. Did you hear me? I'm going to button it up. There, it's buttoned. (husband ignores her)
Newark Airport, New Jersey
Overheard by: EthanK
