The Passengers Could Have Used a Bit More Oxygen

Suit on cell: I just landed in Maine. I mean San Diego. What am I thinking?

Airport
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: weary traveler

Posted on December 6, 2021
Airports & flights, Default, On the phone, San Francisco, Suits, US Geography, Weirdness

And Be Sure to Return Your Seat Backs to the Awkward Position

Stewardess: Wave hi to my ex-husband and his new wife as they pass by.

Southwest Airlines Flight
Houston to New Orleans

Overheard by: Passenger A 44

Posted on October 6, 2021
Airports & flights, Default, Flight attendants, Girls, Offers and requests, Public transportation, Relationships, USA, Weirdness

In Fact, He's Delicious

Captain on intercom: Ladies and gentlemen, just wanted to let you know the reason this flight was delayed. The plane collided with a bird upon landing. It's no big deal; it just hit a body part. The bird is okay.

Airport
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Ladle (who is skeptical about the well-being of the bird)

Posted on July 31, 2021
Airports & flights, Birds, Default, Pennsylvania, Pilots, Public transportation

Old Is the New Dead

Guy on cell: You realize it is old people's only duty to die to get out of the way right?

International Airport
Louisville, Kentucky

Posted on July 20, 2021
Age and ageing, Airports & flights, Death & dying, Guys, Kentucky, On the phone

It’ll Only Get Rougher from There

Male flight attendant: This will be a miserable flight. It’ll be really turbulent and then we’ll end up in New Jersey.

Flight into Newark Airport

Posted on June 19, 2021
Airports & flights, Flight attendants, Gripes

The Kid Used to Yell “Boink Me, Daddy!”

Four-year-old boy: Daddy! I wanna get hammered!
(mom pulls out a toy rubber hammer, sighing)
Dad, to everyone around: Shhhhh, nobody heard that! If you did, little forgetfulness fairies will fly into your mind!

Airport
Phoenix, Arizona