Cute little girl: Daddy, can we eat a little pigeon?

São Paulo

Zookeeper: We have three types of penguins: Humboldt, Emperor, and Macaroni.
Small child watching zookeeper: Are there African American penguins?
Zookeeper, clearly flustered: Er…well…there are penguins from many countries and continents…

Milwaukee County Zoo

Overheard by: Not a penguin racist

Girl #1: You know, thanks for listening to my problems. I know you've got a lot of your own, and they're totally worse than mine.
Girl #2: Dude! My problems are like…I had really crappy Chinese for dinner four hours ago shit. Your problems are just like, you had chicken and a salad for dinner last night shit. It's totally cool.

East Tennessee

Overheard by: yeah? well i had lasagna for dinner.

Girl #1: So how much older is this guy exactly?
Girl #2: Only like 9 years. He's 37. But I mean, I really like him, and he has chickens.

Auburn, Alabama

Goth girl to friend: You have to know your ChapStick! ChapStick is the Colorado state bird!

Aurora, Colorado

Overheard by: Lee

Hobo: Excuse me, miss. Can you tell me something about ostriches?

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Jonesy

Bookseller to pregnant coworker: Aren't you worried there will be jealousy between the chickens and your unborn child?

Barnes & Noble
Augusta, Maine

Overheard by: Just browsing

Girl to mother: You know, that’s why I’m so messed up. My main memories of church are smearing fake blood on a Ken doll for Cain killing Abel, with pigeons cooing at me; and dancing across the stage in a pink tutu for The Odyssey.

Aurora, Colorado

Crazy college student: Can you take the rubber ducky? I can’t bring him into the cafeteria. There’s no duck food in there.

Blanton Hall, Montclair State University
New Jersey

Overheard by: Rubber Ducks don’t eat