Six-year-old boy to brother: You know who'll save you? Abraham Lincoln. Too bad he's dead now. He'll rise from the dead! And raise chickens! His chicken powers can't save you now!
Baltimore, Maryland
Six-year-old boy to brother: You know who'll save you? Abraham Lincoln. Too bad he's dead now. He'll rise from the dead! And raise chickens! His chicken powers can't save you now!
Baltimore, Maryland
Woman, urinating and talking to friend in next stall: I was holding my piss in for so long, my Kegel muscles could choke a chicken!
Memorial Hall
Monson, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sarah
Paris Hilton lookalike waif on cell, wearing tight cargo Capris and giant white sunglasses: No, the steakhouse one… (pause) Yeah, when the vultures flew out of my pants!
Trailer Park behind PETCO
New Jersey
Overheard by: IDK if I want to understand this one
Bimbette #1: Wait, is a bird a mammal? I don’t think it’s a mammal…
Bimbette #2: I think a bird is, like, its own species.
B train
Boston, Massachusetts
Girl sitting by window: Oh, John, come here!
Guy: What? Why?
Girl: Because there's a male and female cardinal sitting on the same branch!
Guy: Are they fucking?
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Science professor: This is plastic deformation, like what happens to those baby-seal catchers. You know, the plastic that comes around soda cans? Sometimes you catch penguins too, but those are much harder–they run really fast, and they have no regard for their bodies. They just throw themselves off cliffs.
Boston University
Boston, Massachusetts
Dude: You fail to see that the rhinoceros is not pleased that you've clogged the bathtub drain with jam and celery. She's quite angry with you. I mean, if you just shit out a canary, it's not going to want to play tonsil hockey.
Friend: How hard would it be to get you involuntarily committed to a mental institution?
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Girl: I hate geese.
Guy: Because they’re Canadian?
Girl: No, the fat white ones. I hate them because they’re fat. And greedy.
Guy: Yeah, what’s up with that? They always run right up to you if you have bread.
Girl: And they totally harass the ducks, man!
Guy: Yeah, what the fuck?! Stupid geese. Fuck that shit, man. Fuck that shit.
Girl: Yeah!
http://overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com/2007/03/that-swan-lake-really-annoyed-hell-out.html
College dude #1: What are those birds that fucking talk?
College dude #2: Parrots?
College dude #1: No, that’s what my teacher said… Ravens! That’s right!
College dude #2: Ravens talk? That’s like Edgar Allen Poe shit or something.
College dude #1: No, dude, they for real only say like one word, though.
College dude #2, imitating a raven: Aquafina!
College dude #1: Yeah, dude! ‘Aquafina!’ Only I’d make mine say, ‘Radiator.’
www.overheardinpittsburgh.com
Girl: I hate geese.
Guy: Because they’re Canadian?
Girl: No, the fat white ones. I hate them because they’re fat. And greedy.
Guy: Yeah, what’s up with that? They always run right up to you if you have bread.
Girl: And they totally harass the ducks, man!
Guy: Yeah, what the fuck?! Stupid geese. Fuck that shit, man. Fuck that shit.
Girl: Yeah!
http://overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com/2007/03/that-swan-lake-really-annoyed-hell-out.html
