Translation: Sex With You Isn't Worth the Annoyance Of Your Company

Emo chick: So then she glared at me. In a mean way, not a happy way.
Normal looking boyfriend: I don't think that word means what you think it means.
Emo chick: Huh?
Normal looking boyfriend: You know, I just don't think this is going to work out.
Emo chick: Wait. You're breaking up with me? Here? Why?
Normal looking boyfriend: Well, I wasn't planning on it, but honey, you didn't like Watchmen and you've never read or seen The Princess Bride. Clearly we're just two very different people.

Flagstaff, Arizona

Overheard by: nayvera

Posted on September 30, 2020
Arizona, Books, Compare and contrast, Couples, Default, Girls, Guys, Happiness, Movies, Questions, Relationships, Words

We Have No Words for This Quote.

Woman: Do you have the book How to Fix Your Marriage without Words?
Saleslady: Sorry, it looks like we don't have that in stock right now.
Woman: Fuck!

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Taylor

Posted on September 10, 2020
Books, Customers, Employees, Insults, Relationships, Shopping, Washington

The Real World's Sadly Lacking in Noble Causes Worth Fighting for

20-something girl to boyfriend: You're such a nerd.
Boyfriend: We prefer “Men of Gondor.”

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Corey

Posted on July 31, 2020
Books, Couples, Default, Education, Girls, Guys, Massachusetts, Pop culture, Words

Lear Has Something for Everyone

Strange curly-haired girl: Make sure you make Edmund really hot.
Morose pale dark-haired girl: Why?
Strange curly-haired girl: Dude! Did you not read King Lear? Bitches were all over his dick!

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Anneliese

Posted on April 18, 2020
Books, Canadia, Default, Girls, Penis, Questions

As His Sancho Panza

Girl: You should meet his dad! He's like Don Quixote in a Kafka story.
Guy: Who's father they were talking about…you know…but with a tv.

Sabiá bar, Vila Madalena
Sao Paulo, Brazil

Posted on March 23, 2020
Advice, Bars & Clubs, Books, Brazil, Compare and contrast, Default, Family ties, Girls, Guys, Technology

Who's Going As Pontius Pilate of Nottingham?

Bimbette, looking at halloween costumes online with her boyfriend: Oh, look! You can go as Robin Hood and I'll be Mary Magdalene!

RIC College
Providence, Rhode Island

Posted on December 12, 2019
Bimbettes, Books, Clothes, Colleges & Universities, Default, History, Rhode Island, Stupidity

Oh, the Horror. The Horror!

Dudely dude: You know Heart of Darkness, by Marlon Brando…

Ithaca College
Ithaca, New York

Posted on August 27, 2019
About celebrities, Books, Colleges & Universities, Default, Guys, Names, New York, Pop culture

While You Live in My House, You'll Share My Ignorance

Whining toddler: Mommy, I want that book!
Yelling mother: You can't read!

Dalton Booksellers
Jefferson Valley, New York

Posted on May 19, 2019
Books, Default, Family ties, Kids, Moms, New York, Offers and requests, Stores, Women

As Long As You Don’t Lie in the Same Bed Together, It’s All Good

Man: What does it say in the bible about punching your son in the face?

Starbucks
Durham, North Carolina

Overheard by: wondering the same thing myself

Posted on April 26, 2019
Books, Guys, North Carolina, Offspring, Parenting, Questions, Religion, Restaurants, Violence

Colorado Libraries Are Full Of the Stuff

Geeky girl: You know, I’ve still got my ex-boyfriend’s mom’s library card.
Goth friend: …We should totally go and check out, like, animal porn with it.

Aurora, Colorado

Posted on March 5, 2019
Animals, Books, Colorado, Default, Dorks, Geeks & Nerds, Family ties, Friends, Girls, Goths, Offers and requests, Porn, Relationships, Weirdness