Steven Segal Is: Out for Vagina

Brunette: Why are you laughing?
Redhead: I have this thing I do in video stores where I replace one word of the movie title with ‘vagina.’
Brunette: So?
Redhead: Dude, where’s my vagina?

Video store
São Paulo
Brazil

Posted on November 13, 2013
Brazil, Friends, Vagina

But Her Orgasm Faking Is Sub Par

Chick: Is she a good actress?
Dude: Well, she gives good blowjobs.

Café Pequeno
São Paulo
Brazil

Posted on November 11, 2013
BJs, Brazil, Friends, Gossip

She's Like, “Eh, I'll Make More”

Girl: I've heard that woman over there is giving away some of her kids.

Campinas
Brazil

Posted on May 28, 2011
Brazil, Family ties, Girls, Parenting, Weirdness

Though This Is More Like a Guatemalan Mother Of Four

Girl, as friend shows apparently horrible picture of new driver's license: Oh, honey, it's okay! As my sister always says, everyone has their Puerto Rican orphan moment, one time or another…

Arabian Restaurant
São Paulo
Brazil

Overheard by: henrietta

Posted on August 3, 2009
Beauty, Brazil, Family ties, Friends, Girls, Restaurants

The Big Ones Are Making My Tummy Ache

Cute little girl: Daddy, can we eat a little pigeon?

São Paulo
Brazil

Posted on May 1, 2009
Birds, Brazil, Default, Family ties, Girls, Kids, Questions

And Hire a Tampon-Charmer to Make It Dance

Guy #1: I always wanted to open the door wearing nothing but a t-shirt and socks.
Girl #1 (pondering): I think that would be truly amazing. I don't know what would be more shocking, the penis or the socks. Probably the socks.
Girl #2: I guess I could do that next time you guys come over… Just (gesticulates around body) shirt and socks.
Guy #2: Naah. It wouldn't be that great, you not having a penis and all.
Girl #2: Oh, I guess I could wear a tampon! (puts finger in front of crotch and makes a “snakey” motion)

House Party
Pinheiros, Sao Paulo
Brazil

Posted on September 10, 2008
Brazil, Clothes, Default, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Sexuality, Wishes

Good to Know Fast Food Joints Are Just As Classy Outside the U.S.

Crazy hobo in McDonald’s line: Does the McDuplo come with fries?
Mcworker: Only if you get the combo. Would you like the combo?
Crazy hobo in McDonald’s line: Son of a bitch! This is McDonald’s. I want fries with my fucking sandwich. [he throws up on the floor, then walks away muttering.]Mcworker to other mcworker: I wish I was dead.

McDonald’s
Belo Horizonte
Brazil

Posted on May 16, 2008
Brazil, Coworkers, Crazies, Customers, Death & dying, Etiquette, Food, Hobos, McDonald's, Offers and requests, Questions, Wishes

Storytelling Is a Lost Art

Drunk bimbette: Oh my god! I used to like this ugly guy once… Then I realized he was ugly and stopped liking him.

Barbeque
Jundiaí
Brazil

Posted on April 15, 2008
Beauty, Bimbettes, Brazil, Compare and contrast, Drunks, Feelings, Restaurants, Sexuality

He Doesn’t Go Very Far In

Young fashionista #1: How do you stay so positive?
Young fashionista #2: Oh, you know, I just don’t let the bad stuff in.
Young fashionista #1: What about Pedro?

São Paulo
Brazil

Overheard by: paparazzi

Posted on March 24, 2008
Brazil, Comebacks, Default, Hipsters, Office politics, Philosophy, Sex, Zombies

Okay, Now Tell Me How You Know That

Male fashionista: Deepness is just a less shallow superficiality.

São Paulo
Brazil

Overheard by: paparazzi

Posted on March 19, 2008
Brazil, Default, Guys, Philosophy, Stupidity