Brazil

Girl, as friend shows apparently horrible picture of new driver's license: Oh, honey, it's okay! As my sister always says, everyone has their Puerto Rican orphan moment, one time or another…

Arabian Restaurant
São Paulo
Brazil

Overheard by: henrietta

Cute little girl: Daddy, can we eat a little pigeon?

São Paulo
Brazil

Guy #1: I always wanted to open the door wearing nothing but a t-shirt and socks.
Girl #1 (pondering): I think that would be truly amazing. I don't know what would be more shocking, the penis or the socks. Probably the socks.
Girl #2: I guess I could do that next time you guys come over… Just (gesticulates around body) shirt and socks.
Guy #2: Naah. It wouldn't be that great, you not having a penis and all.
Girl #2: Oh, I guess I could wear a tampon! (puts finger in front of crotch and makes a “snakey” motion)

House Party
Pinheiros, Sao Paulo
Brazil

Crazy hobo in McDonald’s line: Does the McDuplo come with fries?
Mcworker: Only if you get the combo. Would you like the combo?
Crazy hobo in McDonald’s line: Son of a bitch! This is McDonald’s. I want fries with my fucking sandwich. [he throws up on the floor, then walks away muttering.]Mcworker to other mcworker: I wish I was dead.

McDonald’s
Belo Horizonte
Brazil

Drunk bimbette: Oh my god! I used to like this ugly guy once… Then I realized he was ugly and stopped liking him.

Barbeque
Jundiaí
Brazil

Young fashionista #1: How do you stay so positive?
Young fashionista #2: Oh, you know, I just don’t let the bad stuff in.
Young fashionista #1: What about Pedro?

São Paulo
Brazil

Overheard by: paparazzi

Male fashionista: Deepness is just a less shallow superficiality.

São Paulo
Brazil

Overheard by: paparazzi

Girl: That orgy was like Legos — anyone and everyone on top of each other! You didn’t know what was what, who was who, where someone began or where did they end. It was just a big pile of human building blocks of pleasure.

Wonka Bar
Curitiba
Brazil

Hot girl: It’s great to go out with new people. My friends and I are in a conversation slump — we realized that all our conversations ended up in stories about drugs or sex, so we said, ‘Let’s be normal, you know, and talk about women and football!’ So we ended up talking about all the transvestites we know and about synchronized swimming.

Bar 13
São Paulo
Brazil

Hobo: Look, the pope!
Man: Like I’m going to fall for that!
Hobo, minutes later: Look, Batman! [Man turns and looks.]

Week the pope is in town
São Paulo
Brazil