Mother: Just sit there a minute. I need to go say goodbye to Jamie*.
Three-year-old boy, buckled into stroller, trying to stand: Let me out of this booby trap!
County Fair
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Cat
Mother: Just sit there a minute. I need to go say goodbye to Jamie*.
Three-year-old boy, buckled into stroller, trying to stand: Let me out of this booby trap!
County Fair
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Cat
Mother to two laughing children running down sidewalk: Get back here! Hold her hand! Get back here right this instant! [Catches them and grabs their hands, pulling them back towards their house, pointing at a nearby car.] That car is sitting there. What if that man would have backed out and hit you?! What if he couldn’t have seen you? What then?
Four-year old boy: Then hooray! Hooray!
Los Angeles, California
Girl #1: You know, it's kind of depressing. I'm not into anything weird–sexually.
Girl #2: Yeah?
Girl #1: Yeah. Like, the weirdest thing I'm into is having guys dress up in white wigs and let me call them mozart.
Girl #2 (seriously): That's not weird at all.
Monterey, California
Chick: No, I don’t remember that.
Dude: I remember you grabbing my balls…
Parking lot
Santa Barbara, California
Overheard by: Z
Political science professor: Our president is black. Some of you may have noticed this. Some of you probably haven't yet.
California State University
San Marcos, California
Overheard by: I knew it
Little boy blowing into wrapping paper tube: Is this too loud, Mommy? [Mom is silent.] Mommy, is that too loud? [Silence, so boy screams] Was that loud enough for you, Mommy?!
Target
Laguna Niguel, California
Guy on cell: And I wanted to say, essentially, “Bitch, my office manages eight billion a year, so shut the fuck up”–but in the refined and enlightened way one would say such a thing in the country club dining room.
Santa Rosa, California
Overheard by: Rose Fox
16-year-old girl #1: I wanna wait to have kids, you know? But I don't wanna be old or anything. I think like 19 or somethin.
16-year-old girl #2: Yeah. Oscar wants to knock me up and I'm like “no bitch, I don't even have a license yet.” We're thinking after I turn 18.
Los Angeles, California
Girl: Don’t worry, I won’t be lonely tonight. I’ve got a date with a gravity bong.
Stoner guy: … That’s, like, the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: MeganMama
Very elegantly dressed man: I'm trying to remember if I've ever mowed a lawn… No, I don't think I have.
Very elegantly dressed woman: Hang on, do we even have a lawn?
Very elegantly dressed man: Of course we do.
Very elegantly dressed woman: Oh, I remember now. We have a lot of lawn.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: MaggieB
