Too Realistic, Huh?

Teenage girl on bus: Oh, fuck. What is this world coming to? It's like it gets worse and worse.
Teenage guy sitting beside her: What? No. This wouldn't be the worst thing that's happened. Bad things happen all the time. Think about worse things going on right now, or that have been going on, for like, forever.
Teenage girl: It feels like it's getting worse, though.
Teenage guy: But it's not, though.
Teenage girl: Yeah, but, these bad things keep happening. It always keeps happening.
(pause)
Teenage guy: I wanna go see Watchmen.
Teenage girl: Don't, I heard it's not that good.

Bus
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on July 6, 2015
Advice, Bus, Canadia, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Guys, Movies, Offers and requests, Questions, Teens

…They Turned Him Into a Wind Instrument!

Hipster guy to two girls with horrified looks on their faces: So it had been like a zit or a boil when he was seventeen, but because it never got treated… There was, like, a tunnel, and then… (passes out of earshot)

The Danforth
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: wondering what the hell came after the tunnel

Posted on July 5, 2015
Age and ageing, Canadia, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Hipsters, Weirdness

Canadian Ice Cream Is Not for the Faint of Heart

Guy: So yeah, our ice cream is good. It’s not made out of cat.

Ontario
Canadia

Posted on July 4, 2015
Animals, Canadia, Compare and contrast, Food, Guys, Pride

If You Make Us Sleep in Wood-shavings Again

Guy to girlfriend: Next break I'm going to hug you like a retard squeezing a hamster!

Burnaby
Canadia

Overheard by: Doesn't Like Hamsters Anyway

Posted on July 3, 2015
Animals, Canadia, Compare and contrast, Couples, Stupidity, Violence

They're Foot-Shaped Holes in the Fabric Of the Universe!

Girl: Socks aren't socks.

Fort McMurray
Alberta
Canadia

Posted on July 3, 2015
Canadia, Clothes, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Words

This Optometrist Asked Me to Identify Letters Of the Alphabet

Girl #1: Did you have to take a test in high school to prove that you weren't retarded?
Girl #2: Uh, no.
Girl #1: Oh…I did.

Dalhousie University
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia

Overheard by: JSW

Posted on July 1, 2015
Canadia, Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Girls, Questions, Stupidity

Sometimes We Find It Makes More Sense to Read Your Quote Submissions While Drunk

High-school girl #1: Caveman.
High-school girl #2: Arm-sex!
High-school girl #1: That never gets old.
High-school girl #2: Yeah!

Edmonton
Alberta
Canadia

Overheard by: SpamiKami

Posted on June 27, 2015
Age and ageing, Biotechs, Canadia, Kink, Sex, Students

Then They Blew Each Other

High school girls: Then Mr Jones* said “if anybody knows an easy-23-year old, let me know.” and Jeff* told him “dude if I knew an easy 23-year-old, I wouldn't tell you.”

Bus
Vancouver
Canadia

Posted on June 26, 2015
Bus, Canadia, Girls, Offers and requests, Sexuality

Including Her Back?

Guy: How many nipples does Julie have, again?

Ottawa
Canadia

Overheard by: hopefully not enough to breastfeed quintuplets

Posted on June 26, 2015
Canadia, Guys, Nipples, Weirdness

Perhaps a Brandy Snifter Full Of Ocean Water, Then

Old woman at restaurant: What do you have to drink?
Exasperated waitress: Everything except root beer and chocolate milk.

New Brunswick, Canadia

Posted on June 25, 2015
Baristas, Canadia, Clients, Drinking & drunks, Offers and requests, Old folks