Canadia

Professor: Temperature is an example of an invented reality. Temperature doesn’t exist. It’s all in our minds. It’s either hot or cold out, but what are “degrees” really? Nothing!
Student: Actually, temperature is scientifically calculated by… (goes on to give long, technical explanation)
Professor: Really? I’m going to have to go look that up on Wikipedia. I get all of my information from Wikipedia.

University of Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Glad you’re teaching us then…

Girl to pregnant friend: You're just like Mary, mother of Jesus…except she knew who the father was.

Toronto
Canadia

Hobo, panhandling to passer-bys: Can anyone spare some change so I can buy a little wine, some booze, some cheese, a little pot… Maybe some nuclear weapons…

Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: http://psychedelicmess.blogspot.com

Teenage girl on bus: Oh, fuck. What is this world coming to? It's like it gets worse and worse.
Teenage guy sitting beside her: What? No. This wouldn't be the worst thing that's happened. Bad things happen all the time. Think about worse things going on right now, or that have been going on, for like, forever.
Teenage girl: It feels like it's getting worse, though.
Teenage guy: But it's not, though.
Teenage girl: Yeah, but, these bad things keep happening. It always keeps happening.
(pause)
Teenage guy: I wanna go see Watchmen.
Teenage girl: Don't, I heard it's not that good.

Bus
Ontario
Canadia

Hipster guy to two girls with horrified looks on their faces: So it had been like a zit or a boil when he was seventeen, but because it never got treated… There was, like, a tunnel, and then… (passes out of earshot)

The Danforth
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: wondering what the hell came after the tunnel

Guy: So yeah, our ice cream is good. It’s not made out of cat.

Ontario
Canadia

Guy to girlfriend: Next break I'm going to hug you like a retard squeezing a hamster!

Burnaby
Canadia

Overheard by: Doesn't Like Hamsters Anyway

Girl: Socks aren't socks.

Fort McMurray
Alberta
Canadia

Girl #1: Did you have to take a test in high school to prove that you weren't retarded?
Girl #2: Uh, no.
Girl #1: Oh…I did.

Dalhousie University
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia

Overheard by: JSW

High-school girl #1: Caveman.
High-school girl #2: Arm-sex!
High-school girl #1: That never gets old.
High-school girl #2: Yeah!

Edmonton
Alberta
Canadia

Overheard by: SpamiKami