Canadia

Eight-year-old boy to mother browsing meat counter at the grocery store: Mom, what's veal?
Mother: It's just another kind of meat.
Eight-year-old boy: But what kind of animal does it come from?
Mother, motioning to her chest area: Oh, I think it's from the lamb part of the cow.

Toronto
Canadia

Girl to friend going back into lecture hall: But it's just a pen, Kelly!
Friend: I just wanna see where it fell!

Toronto
Canadia

Prof: Life is a game of chance. There may not be a tomorrow. Or, it may not be the tomorrow you expect. You might go home tonight and die. Or you might go home tonight and have a baby!

Carelton University
Ottawa
Canadia

Overheard by: if i gave birth tonight, my biggest concern would be how my pregnancy went undetected for nine months.

Yuppie wife to yuppie husband: Yeah, he was so cool he started fucking other people.

Ottawa
Canadia

Overheard by: o'grady

Girl #1 : I found a bearded dragon in my brothers closet last night!
Girl #2 : A real dragon?
Girl #1 : No, a lizard.
Girl #2 : Oh.

Secondary School
Nanaimo District
Canadia.

Young girl from bathroom stall: Mom! There's no toilet paper in here!
Mother: I'd say that represents a failure in planning on your part.

Toronto
Canadia

Guy at party #1: Hey, hold on, did that baby get naked?
Guy at party #2: Yeah, man, it's hot in here.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Meech

Girl on bike #1, over her shoulder: Crotchless panties!
Girl on bike #2: Crotchless panties?
Girl on bike #1: Crotchless panties!

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Felicity Thistle

Tenor-voiced guy on cell: So I hung out at the pie shop after that for about half an hour. And I stole a quiche. Yeah, I totally stole it. And a croissant. Just walked up to the counter and bagged them for myself and walked out. It's my reckless streak.

Streetcar
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Felicity Thistle

Anime-loving teenager on cell: So it's like I'm a lesbian in a man's body. Except I like boys.

CTrain
Calgary
Canadia