Freshman girl to friends: Guys, I really need to ask you a huge favor. I think I might be pregnant and you guys might have to punch me in the stomach to get rid of it.
North Bay
Ontario
Canadia
Girl #1: So my two-year-old cousin… You know, the one who laughs at me, and threw his bottle and his book at me?
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: Well, this one time he like pushed me down on the floor, and like… licked my face.
Girl #2: Wow! Your two-year-old cousin is like a combination of all the boys you've met here.
London
Ontario
Canadia
Strangely cheerful 30-something: I'm not shaking hands, or hugging, or anything anymore! I'm infected!
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Isn't infected
Guy: Cause, like, Stalin was a pretty crazy dude, right?
York University
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Just don't call me dude
Teen girl: What that thing that Frank Sinatra was? It starts with a “k”?
Teen friend: A “crooner”?
Girl: Yeah, that's it. A crooner.
Starbucks
Ontario
Canadia
50-something guy on cell: Yeah, so honestly I don't think this will work out… I think your sexuality is a little… young for me.
Starbucks
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: dates older guys
Girl: Seriously, it's about this guy who fucks his clone and then wonders whether it's gay or masturbation. And that's the whole fucking book!
Guy, after thoughtful pause: No. Totally not gay.
UBC
Canadia
Festival-going dude: Well, you know me when it comes to pizza and titties!
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: would you like fries with that?
Girl waiting for bus: A skort is like a mullet for your ass.
Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
