Chick: Oh my god, look at this baby! It is so ugly! I didn’t think babies were allowed to be ugly!
University of Denver
Denver, Colorado
Chick: Oh my god, look at this baby! It is so ugly! I didn’t think babies were allowed to be ugly!
University of Denver
Denver, Colorado
20-ish guy: If I have a little girl, I want her to either have the highest moral standards or be ugly as shit.
McCool Hall, Mississippi State University
Mississippi
Drunk girl: I’m filled with the Holy Spirit… and booze!
Michigan State University
East Lansing, Michigan
Professor: Children aren’t property — you can’t just throw them in a blender.
Philosophy class, University of New Hampshire
Durham, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Shadowsurfr1
Drunk chick: I wouldn’t have known I hooked up with anyone if I hadn’t found his swipe card in my bra on the floor… Should I send him an e-mail?
Washington and Lee University
Lexington, Virginia
Chick: About a year ago I discovered that everything I learned at Harvard was actually through reading Wikipedia just before the exam.
Harvard
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Newbie: How do I know when the French toast is done?
Supervisor: When it looks like French toast.
Oceanview Terrace dining hall, UCSD
San Diego, California
Chick: I was just in the bathroom trying to throw up, and I just can’t do it! I just gag. A penis can make me throw up, but my own two fingers cant… I hate giving blowjobs.
Montclair State University
Montclair, New Jersey
Overheard by: BTON
Undergrad #1: Man, it would suck if you died by drowning in molasses.
Undergrad #2: Well, better than being raped.
Undergrad #1: True. Well, unless you were diabetic. Then the molasses would be, like, raping you.
Harvard research lab
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: random person
Boyfriend: You know what happens when you get between me and something I want, right?
Girlfriend, on his lap: I go in the hole?
Boyfriend, puzzled: No… I… I move you out of the way…
Westfield State College
Westfield, Massachusetts
Overheard by: It was a brownie he wanted
