Paranoid blonde: He’s just so quiet and creepy. I really feel like he could kill someone!
Annoyed brunette: Because he’s quiet and creepy?
Paranoid blonde: Well, he, like, steals forks from the dining hall and stuff!
University of Maryland, College Park
Maryland
Dining hall employee: We started doing tofu because a lot of people don’t eat meat anymore.
Chick: I love meat.
Russell Sage College
Troy, New York
Girl on phone: Ewww, Grandma is so gross. Remember that time she went to the doctor and found out she had chlamydia?
Seattle University
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: gross
Girl #1: Ew, this sushi is like jizz! Here, eat some so I’m not the only one.
Girl #2: No.
Girl #1: Come on, put it in your mouth. Just taste it. Just a little bit. I don’t want to be the only one!
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/05/01/you-dont-even-want-to-try-the-terriyaki/
Overheard by:
Professor: Okay, let’s go fill your heads with useless crap.
Centennial College
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Meech
Professor: So, you see, the barns were directly beneath the houses, and the people and the animals had a very, very intimate relationship for many years. Very intimate.
Jock: Niiice [high fives jock friend].
University of Massachusetts
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: chroma the great
Thugette, into phone: How it gon’ be warm one day, rain the next, and freezin’ the next?
Asian guy: It’s called a cold front. Take a science class.
Thugette: I don’t need no science, nigga! I got God!
Millersville University
Millersville, Pennsylvania
Professor: It’s like when you walk into a bathroom with a corpse in the tub and go, ‘Wow, just look at that tile pattern!’
The Evergreen State College
Olympia, Washington
Professor: I found the same paper that you turned in as your term paper on the Internet, word for word. That’s plagiarizing!
Student: All right, I’ll tell you the truth — I didn’t have time to write the term paper, so I paid somebody else to do it for me. But honest, I didn’t know he’d plagiarize it!
College
New York
Overheard by: DizzyLizzy
Professor: So, the point of this lecture is never, ever buy a squirrel monkey. They will plot your demise and gouge your eyes out in your sleep.
DePaul University
Chicago, Illinois
