Only If Mom Stops Using the Cucumber For…You Know.

Father to four-year-old: Stop spanking the eggplant!

Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Kay

Posted on December 23, 2008
Dads, Default, Fruit, Offers and requests, Oregon, Violence, Weirdness

And You Said I Could Have Whatever I Wanted for My Bar Mitzvah

Teenage boy to father: I've been talking to a Thai lady on the internet and, I'll bring her to New Zealand for only $50,000!
Father: Is she genuine?
Teenage boy: Genuine Thai lady-boy!

Auckland
New Zealand

Overheard by: Tessa

Posted on November 30, 2008
Dads, Default, Gender issues, Geography, Guys, Internet, Money, New Zealand, Offers and requests, Questions, Sexuality, Teens, Weirdness

And Made Them Into a Necklace for You

Dad to daughters: I've stolen more bellybuttons than you can count.

Rochester, New York

Overheard by: Jude

Posted on November 9, 2008
Body parts, Crimes, Dads, Default, New York

Bear: Just Give Me an Excuse, You Ice-Cap-Melting-Rock-Throwing Motherfucker!

(at the polar bear exhibit)
Father to son holding a rock: Don't throw that rock! If you throw that, it's going to hit the bear, and then he's going to come over here and eat you. Do you want him to come over here and eat you?!

Zoo
Buffalo, New York

Overheard by: Sarah.

Posted on October 27, 2008
Animals, Dads, Default, New York, Offers and requests, Questions, Threats, Tourist attractions, Violence, Weirdness

Being Raised by the Buddha Isn't All It's Cracked Up to Be

Five-year-old: Daddy, I want ice cream.
Father: How does it feel to want something?

Vermont

Posted on October 10, 2008
Dads, Default, Feelings, Food, Kids, Questions, Vermont, Weirdness, Wishes

Take That Little Hat Off It, Timmy

Two-year-old: Daddy, do I have a penis?
Father: Yes, you do.
Two-year-old: Ha ha! Silly penis.

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on September 26, 2008
Dads, Default, Guys, Illinois, Insults, Kids, Penis, Questions

Can You Wait Til I Drop You Off at Mommy's?

Father: Look, there's a potty over there!
Five-year-old daughter: No, I don't wanna go in the porta-potty!
Father: Okay, where are you gonna go then?
Five-year-old daughter: In my pants!
Father: Alright!

SUNY
Purchase, New York

Posted on August 31, 2008
Colleges & Universities, Dads, Default, Kids, New York, Parenting, Poop

Dads