Girl to friend: I need some cute shirts that I can just throw on and like…jerk off in.
H&M
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: XT
Girl to friend: I need some cute shirts that I can just throw on and like…jerk off in.
H&M
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: XT
Boyfriend, to girlfriend who has just ripped ass: Ugh! Baby! No, don't just walk away and leave me standing here, you can't just crop dust like that!
Target
Overland Park, Kansas
Calculus lecturer: If I had 20 million dollars to give you as a gift…I would, just to see you fuck up.
Perth
Western Australia
Australia
Ditz to friend: He took me Facebook poking him as a romantic gesture!
TC Central High School
Michigan
20-something: I don't hate you because you are a beaver bumper!
Hancock, Michigan
Overheard by: Midget Goldfish
Acting professor: We just tweaked a few things to make it Christmassy and kidnapped Santa.
Point Park University
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: ZB
Order guy at Panera over loudspeaker: John! John! Your order's up! Delicious soup for delicious John! (pause) Wait! I didn't mean that about you.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
20-something girl to another: I love hairy West Coast men. If they look like they haven't showered or shaved in a good week, send 'em my way.
Calgary
Alberta
Canadia
Dad: That’s an awfully big brownie. You know it’s so big it’s a Girl Scout.
Daughter: Silence.
Dad: Hey, this is funny stuff from your dad.
(daughter stares at him in silence)
Buffalo, New York
Overheard by: Tim
