Hey, If the Hippos in Fantasia Can Do It…

Aunt: Well yeah, we dance with the turkey before we put it in the oven.
Girl: What?!
Aunt: Well you know, to give it one last dance.
Girl: One last dance?! As if it danced before!

St.Louis, Missouri

Posted on June 1, 2019
Animals, Death & dying, Default, Family, Girls, Missouri, Weirdness, Women

And Tuna Breath

Chic female suit: I just can't imagine him as a cat!
Older female suit: Well, he does have multiple personalities.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: me-ow!

Posted on May 31, 2019
Default

As Opposed to Doing the Voodoo That You Do So Well

Girl: She really hated you for awhile, though. She even made a voodoo doll of you.
Guy: Are you fucking serious?!
Girl: Well, she Velcroed a bunch of angry words to a cabbage patch doll and then cried because she was afraid the doll thought she was angry at it specifically.
Guy: She always maintained an impressive level of incompetence.

Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on May 30, 2019
Default, Feelings, Girls, Guys, Massachusetts, Questions, Weirdness, Words

A Rumor Which, Unfortunately, Will Stay in Vegas.

Guy in wife beater on phone: She said my dick was just too long.

Casino
Las Vegas, Nevada

Posted on May 29, 2019
Compare and contrast, Default, Guys, Nevada, Penis, Sex

Religion Does Seem to Be the Opium Of the People

Tourist mom: I'm fascinated by religions. I always read about them. But I've been watching this four-hour documentary on the Mormons and I can't really get into it.
Daughter: Why not?
Tourist mom: Well, every time I watch it I fall asleep.

Temple Square
Salt Lake City, Utah

Posted on May 25, 2019
Default, Girls, Moms, Religion, Tourists, Utah

Rather Than Someone Else's

Guy at the end of the very long line to men's room: Man, it's like the line to Space Mountain. Except when you get to the end you have your dick in your hand.

Festival of Ales
Worcester, Massachusetts