(five-year-old girl tries to hit puppy with a toy)
Step-mom: I’m gonna hit you with that toy.
Five-year-old girl: How hard?
Fresno, California
(five-year-old girl tries to hit puppy with a toy)
Step-mom: I’m gonna hit you with that toy.
Five-year-old girl: How hard?
Fresno, California
Referee: The puck is loose! It's loose it's loose!
Player on the bench, muffled: Your mom is loose!
Referee: I heard that.
Hockey Rink
Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: penguins
Frat boy #1, shouting: Man, I would never date a girl who looks like my sister.
Frat boy #2, also shouting: But that's all you date.
Frat boy #1, in lower voice: I know, but I gotta stop.
Igloofest
Montreal
Canadia
Overheard by: Mimi
Obese middle-aged tourist to husband: I called him and told him we're at passenger pick-up 2. He called and asked where we'd be, and I said passenger pick-up 2, that's where he can find us. It's just easier to find us when he gets here. Passenger pick-up 2. And it's cold. That's why I brought this vest. I brought this vest in case it got cold, and it got cold. I'm going to button it up. Did you hear me? I'm going to button it up. There, it's buttoned. (husband ignores her)
Newark Airport, New Jersey
Overheard by: EthanK
Classics professor: By the way, when I say that they sent Crassus' head to the king, the rest of him didn't go along. So that means he was dead.
Memorial University
Canadia
Overheard by: Mel
Animated professor: And without the socialist revolution, to paraphrase Jar Jar Binks, “People gonna die!”
University of Wisconsin-Madison
Guy #1: I am in love with her, do you know how I know that?
Guy #2: Because she reminds you of your mom?
Guy #1: Dude, gross! (pause) She does remind me of my sister a bit.
Devner, Colorado
Drunk girl: Sometimes I think I'm an alcoholic, but then I watch Intervention and I realize I'm just a love machine.
Syracuse University, New York
Concerned guy: So, were you wearing a loincloth?
Friend: See, that's the thing, I don't know.
Memorial University
St. John's, Newfoundland
Canadia
Overheard by: Mel
