Drunk guy: Well, I’m, like, more of a social reader, you know?
Columbus, Ohio
Drunk girl: St. Patrick's day is celebrating St. Patrick…who drove all the rats out of Germany.
University of Evansville
Evansville, Indiana
Overheard by: matt
Drunk girl in painful-looking heels to tour group of incoming freshmen: This is your future!
Michigan State University
Drunk hetero: You’re gay, he’s gay, so what’s the problem?
Drunk queer: He just threw up all over himself.
Drunk hetero: You take what you can get.
The White Front Bar
Philipsburg, Montana
(women's restroom, a man in a Santa suit enters)
Drunk woman: Hey, you're not a boy!
Restroom attendant: You mean he's not a girl.
Drunk woman: Yeah, you're not a girl!
Drunk Santa: Ho ho ho, ladies! I just wanted to see what you wanted for Christmas!
Drunk woman: Huh?
Restroom attendant: I want money, haha!
Drunk Santa: Then cross your labia, ladies, and merry Christmas!
(he leaves)
Drunk woman: Wait, what?
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Elizabeth
Hungover guy: Yeah man, so it was all good until I got so drunk that I pissed in my oven.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/289732218/youre-fine-if-its-self-cleaning.html
Overheard by: hah!
Drunk guy #1: Yo, what are you doing?
Drunk guy #2: I don’t remember.
Drunk guy #1: Those are the best nights, bro.
University of New Haven
West Haven, Connecticut
Overheard by: through the window
Drunk blonde: Do you think deer get bored? I mean, all they do is go into the wilderness and play. It’s not like they can go home and say, ‘Hey, Mom deer. Hey, Dad deer! What’s for dinner?’ I would hate to be an animal.
Driver: We are animals! And humans get bored.
Drunk blonde: Yeah, but when we get bored, we can drink and play beer pong.
Driver: How do you know deers don’t play beer pong?
Montclair State University
New Jersey
Overheard by: BTAN
