That, and Getting Highlights

Drunk lady: So, like, I haven’t been to the bar since five. I really hope this plane comes soon, because I have to get to Jacksonville because my mother-in-law is dying. Hahaha! Isn’t that funny? Oh my god, I look awful. I should have never left the house without my eyeliner.
Guy, staring: You’re serious?
Drunk lady: Absolutely. I can never step outside the house without makeup.
Guy: I don’t think you should step outside without rearranging your priorities.
Drunk lady: It’s my New Year’s resolution.

St. Paul International Airport
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: Aayin

Posted on February 22, 2018
Death & dying, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Family ties, Guys, Minnesota, Women

Otherwise Known As 9 PM on a Typical Wednesday

Drunk guy to friends: Do you know what time it is? It’s dick-slapping time!

East Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: Kari

Posted on January 8, 2018
Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Michigan, Penis, Time Management

At Least This Time We Hit Something Soft

Drunk Canadian to another: I don't get it–every time we drink in the car, something bad happens.

Charlottesville, Virginia

Overheard by: christine

Posted on November 18, 2017
Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Foreigners, Stupidity, Virginia

Why R.E.M. Established an IQ Prerequisite for Their Fans

Michael Stipe to crowd: This next song is set in the state of Ohio.
Drunk dude: Go Chicago, woooooo!

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Geographically Inclined

Posted on November 17, 2017
Colorado, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Music, Stupidity, US Geography

Or Does China Have All the Time?

Drunk gamer #1, about Warhawk: Those Japanese were amazing!
Drunk gamer #2: But you know, in Japan there's so many people, and so much time.

Boulder, Colorado

Posted on November 2, 2017
Colorado, Compare and contrast, Drunks, Games, Stupidity, Time Management

The Butt End Of the Mississippi Alimentary Canal

Hotel concierge: So, how did you enjoy The Big Easy?
Tourist lady: Oh, New Orleans is a wonderful city. I just wish I knew what it smelled like…
Drunk guy: “Ass.” That's the word your looking for. The city smells like ass.

Bourbon Street
New Orleans, Louisiana