Drunks

Drunk brunette: I'm so ready! I wanna fuck! I mean, you and Ryan* fuck! All the time! I know you do!
Sober blonde: Please don't ever say that again.
Drunk brunette: Fine, prude! You and Ryan* make loooove all the time, right?!
Sober blonde: Could you please just say “have sex”? This is so weird.

Kansas City, Missouri

Overheard by: i*agree

Drunk girl #1: I don’t know how much I liked that wine.
Drunk girl #2: Me either. It was kind of too sweet.
Drunk girl #3: Guys, I just swallowed a dime.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/04/it-is-still-tuesday-in-hawaii.html

Overheard by: tan

Drunk girl: I teach! I teach AP bio kids. They ask so many smart questions. (thoughtful pause) I make things up all the time.
Friend: You make things up??
Drunk girl: I just say “according to my research.” (shrugs, laughs hysterically)

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Drunk lady: So, like, I haven’t been to the bar since five. I really hope this plane comes soon, because I have to get to Jacksonville because my mother-in-law is dying. Hahaha! Isn’t that funny? Oh my god, I look awful. I should have never left the house without my eyeliner.
Guy, staring: You’re serious?
Drunk lady: Absolutely. I can never step outside the house without makeup.
Guy: I don’t think you should step outside without rearranging your priorities.
Drunk lady: It’s my New Year’s resolution.

St. Paul International Airport
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: Aayin

Drunk guy to friends: Do you know what time it is? It’s dick-slapping time!

East Lansing, Michigan

Overheard by: Kari

Drunk Canadian to another: I don't get it–every time we drink in the car, something bad happens.

Charlottesville, Virginia

Overheard by: christine

Michael Stipe to crowd: This next song is set in the state of Ohio.
Drunk dude: Go Chicago, woooooo!

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Geographically Inclined

Drunk gamer #1, about Warhawk: Those Japanese were amazing!
Drunk gamer #2: But you know, in Japan there's so many people, and so much time.

Boulder, Colorado

Hotel concierge: So, how did you enjoy The Big Easy?
Tourist lady: Oh, New Orleans is a wonderful city. I just wish I knew what it smelled like…
Drunk guy: “Ass.” That's the word your looking for. The city smells like ass.

Bourbon Street
New Orleans, Louisiana

Drunk guy: Well, I’m, like, more of a social reader, you know?

Columbus, Ohio