English poetry professor: Would you be offended if I hanged myself right now?
University of Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: awesomepossum
English poetry professor: Would you be offended if I hanged myself right now?
University of Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: awesomepossum
Professor: Isaac Newton, on his deathbed, was proud to announce that he was a virgin. So if any of you want to be famous scientists, you are going to have to be willing to make a few sacrifices.
Girl, raising hand: Um.
Professor: Oh, is it too late?
De Anza Community College
Cupertino, California
Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl loves physics
Communications major: What the hell is a palindrome?
English major: No, it isn't.
California State University
Fullerton, California
Overheard by: SixPackReich
Drunk girl: I went to the University of Alabama, so you don’t have to tell me about sex.
Sammy’s
Raleigh, North Carolina
Professor: So, first of all, there's the gigantitude of the bong…
North Central Michigan College
Overheard by: Maggie
Professor: How does a microwave work?
Student: Electromagnetic waves.
Professor: Oh, “electromagnetic waves”! That's a fancy way of saying “magic.”
University of Delaware
Overheard by: Magician
Professor: For all you know, this is a huge lie!
Christopher Newport University
Newport News, Virginia
Dorky calculus prof: And do you want to know why I am going to show you this problem again? Because I have six minutes to kill and if the department head stops by and sees that I let you out early…he is going to spank me! (class laughs) And that's entertainment I am not interested in! (six minutes pass and the prof assigns homework) I bet that spanking sounds awful great right now!
Miami University, Florida
Overheard by: bad mental picture
College student: So first my girlfriend and I split, then I got accepted into the frat, and then I found god…I couldn't handle spring break after that weekend.
Georgetown University
Washington, DC
