Employees

Female gallery worker: There is some concern about how much food you've eaten.
Homeless bum: One cupcake!?

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Jon

Elderly woman: I can't believe they let you sell Obama cookies here! Tsk!
Employee: Ma'am, those are just gingerbread cookies.

Stonewall Kitchen
Portsmouth, New Hampshire

Cashier: Did you find everything you were looking for?
Old lady: Yes. Actually, no! You don't have any vanilla frozen yogurt! You have every other flavor (getting worked up) I have a coupon for frozen yogurt! (waves it in cashier's face)
Cashier: Uh…I'm sorry! (sends a carryout to look for vanilla frozen yogurt)
Old lady: At least you had flat-iron chicken. You didn't have it last time. (glares)
Old lady's son, in a whisper: I'm glad you had flat-iron chicken, or I don't know what we would have done!

Springboro, Ohio

Overheard by: Never knew frozen yogurt was so important

Waitress: That comes with a side salad.
Woman at booth: I'll have a salad with ranch.
(10 minutes later)
Woman at booth: What is this?
Waitress: Your salad?
Woman at booth, loudly sobbing: I ordered a Caesar salad!
Waitress, at the top of her lungs: We have other salads! We have other salads! They are in the fridge!

Restaurant
Boardman, Ohio

Female cashier: I'm tired, and really not sure why.
Man checking out: You want to know what causes tiredness?
Female cashier: What?
Man checking out: Either too much sex or not enough sex. By the looks of you, it must be too much sex.

Albertson's
Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Overheard by: Not tired, so I must be getting enough sex

Lady carrying huge crate of Girl Guide Cookies to campus rent-a-cop: But they're just kids! They were just trying to have fun!
Campus rent-a-cop, genuinely surprised: They were smoking pot on my campus!

McGill
Montreal, Quebec
Canadia

Driver to people leaving the bus at the university: Buh-bye, have a great day, kids. Enjoy your lessons…bye now. Do your homework. Work hard on your exams so you don't become a bus driver! Bye-bye, everyone!

56 Bus
Leeds
England

Literacy lecturer with thick Russian accent: When you have a guest, you say to them “feel yourself at home.”

Monash University
Australia

H&M worker: Hi, how are you?
Customer: Great, thanks, and you?
H&M worker: I'm okay.
Customer: Only okay? You're listening to a Journey remix in H&M! These are great times!

H&M
Toronto
Canadia

Nanny to 10-year-old girl: So, who commonly uses Celsius instead of Fahrenheit?
10-year-old girl: Penguins.

Brookline, Massachusetts

Overheard by: S