Who Had Means, Motive and Opportunity?

Foreign dressing room attendant, opening all stall doors: It stinks in here! Who pooped? Someone pooped in here, and I'm gonna find it. Where is the poop? Who did it?

Ross
Melbourne, Florida

Posted on March 31, 2009
Default, Employees, Florida, Foreigners, Offers and requests, Poop, Questions

Is That What You Call Your Vagina?

Cashier to woman buying lots of sex toys and lingerie two days after Valentine's Day: Sweetie, you're a little late for Valentine's Day.
Woman: No matter. It's always a good time to freshen up the prop closet.

Touch of Romance
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: awesome

Posted on March 26, 2009
California, Clothes, Default, Employees, Fashion, Holidays, Stores, Toys, Women

Yes and Yes!

Female employee, seeing lunch being prepared: Oh, Kielbasa! I love Kielbasa! You know how I like my Kielbasa?
(pause)
Fireman #1: On your knees?
Fireman #2: In your mouth?

Maine

Posted on March 20, 2009
Body parts, Default, Employees, Feelings, Food, Girls, Guys, Maine, Mouth, Questions

And Lip Rings Are Less Work Than Babies

Customer to cashier with lip rings: Okay, two questions. One, did that hurt?
Cashier: Um, not as much as I thought it would.
Customer: Second question, why did you do that?!
Cashier, speechless: Uhm…honestly…
Friend of customer: Ah, hell man, because she likes it. Shit!

Music Store
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: I've got metal in my face too…

Posted on March 18, 2009
Colorado, Customers, Default, Employees, Fashion, Friends, Insults, Questions, Stores

So I've Given Up Country Music

Supermarket cashier: I only use Charmin toilet paper; if a place doesn't have it, I bring my own.
Customer: Wow, you're picky.
Supermarket cashier: I'm picky about my men too; they have to have all of their teeth.

eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

Posted on March 12, 2009
Body parts, Customers, Default, Eavesdrop DC, Employees, Health & Hygiene, Names

At This Point in My Life, They're Semi-Precious

Instructor: I may have to open my kimono and give him access to my jewels. (entire class chuckles)

College Lecture
Dayton, Ohio

Overheard by: Mandi

Posted on March 8, 2009
Clothes, Colleges & Universities, Default, Employees, Euphemisms, Geography, Ohio

I Don't Judge– As Long As She Tips

Waiter: Table for three?
Middle aged woman: No, four. I know we look like three but…
Waiter: No, I get it. Imaginary friend.

Tasty Thai
Eugene, Oregon

Overheard by: nyssa

Posted on March 4, 2009
Default, Employees, Food, Offers and requests, Oregon, Questions, Restaurants, Weirdness, Women

We Smoke It Over the Smoldering Corpses Of Our Enemies

Guy giving out samples: Free sausage! Try some local sausage for free! Made right here in Seattle, no preservatives!
(people walk right past stand without looking)
Guy, in same tone of voice: I will figure out where you live and burn down your houses! Free sausage! Try a sample!

Pike Place Market
Seattle, Washington

Posted on March 3, 2009
Compare and contrast, Condoms, Default, Employees, Food, Geography, Guys, Stores, Threats, Washington

Also the Difference Between the Middle Class and Everybody Else

Student: Hey there! How was your Thanksgiving?
Dining hall worker: Meh, I was pretty indifferent. At least I didn't get arrested.
Student: Oh…that's a good way to look at things.

Gonzaga University
Spokane, Washington

Overheard by: its something to be thankful for

Posted on March 2, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Default, Employees, Food, Questions, Students, Washington, Weirdness

Until He Discovered Super Princess Peach

Flamboyant Starbucks supervisor: I call Princess Peach!
Amused female employee #1: Be gayer, dude.
Flamboyant Starbucks supervisor: That was it. I don't think I can get any gayer.
Amused female employee #2: Yeah, he just plateaued.

Ottawa
Canadia

Posted on March 1, 2009
Canadia, Compare and contrast, Default, Employees, Gays, Girls, Pop culture, Sexuality

Employees