That, and “Stop Peeing on My Foot.”

Thug: Damn, mami — look at them curves on you!
Ethnic chick: Sorry, boys, I have an arranged marriage. I’m kind of tied down to my fiancé [shows ring].
Thug: Come on, mami, let us sit down.
Blonde sorority girl #1: Sorry, gentlemen, we’re just trying to eat our food here. God bless. [Thugs look at her awkwardly and walk away.]Blonde sorority girl #2, very confused: Why did you just say ‘God bless’ to them?
Blonde sorority girl #1: What? It’s what you say to homeless people.

Leo’s Coney Island
Birmingham, Michigan

Overheard by: Jamie

Posted on November 22, 2014
Chicks, Etiquette, Michigan, Thugs

The Cardinal of Contempt? The Deacon of Disdain?

Wife: Honey, be nice…
Husband: No, I refuse to be nice. It’s against my religion.
Wife: Oh, sure, you should get your own title… Archbishop of Jackass.

Home Depot
Rancho Cucamonga, California

Posted on November 10, 2014
California, Couples, Etiquette, Jobs & Careers

It Can't Be Worse Than That Burger, Right?

Hostess: Hope you all enjoyed your meal tonight!
Woman customer: It was horrible!
Hostess: Okay, well, have a good night!

American Cafe
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Emily

Posted on August 28, 2011
Character, Etiquette, Feelings, Food, Georgia, Women

Some Spies May Be Adorable, but They Get the Job Done

Girl on cell in library: It's crunch time, sparky!

Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York

Overheard by: Russ

Posted on August 25, 2011
Etiquette, Girls, New York, Poop, Weirdness

And the DMV's the Perfect Place to Discuss My Sex Drive

Girl #1: Oh! Did I tell you about the threesome I had with the married couple on the cruise ship?
Girl #2, gesturing at a father and young son sitting directly in front of them: Shhh!
Girl #1: Whatever, he needs to learn.

DMV
Walnut Creek, California

Overheard by: Shh!

Posted on July 2, 2011
California, Education, Etiquette, Girls, Gossip, Sex

Gosh, I Miss Circuit Parties.

Nurse #1: Constipated and a lot of bloody stool.
Nurse #2: (laughs uproariously)

North Shore Hospital
Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Ladle

Posted on May 28, 2011
Etiquette, Health & Hygiene, New York, Nurses, Poop

We'll Admit It: We Laughed.

Unhappy girl: He left and said he couldn't work on the project because he had stuff he had to do.
Aggravated friend: But he left with his girlfriend? Stuff, my ass!
Calm friend: I'm sure that's what his girlfriend said.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/426880741/high-school-kids-frighten-me.html

Overheard by: is that sanitary?

Posted on May 22, 2011
Etiquette, Friends, Overheard in Minneapolis, Questions, Sex

Watch Your Tongue, Missy!

Guy: I'm not sure that rocking up and offering cunnilingus is going to help my cause.
Girl: Worth a try, though…

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Posted on May 9, 2011
England, Etiquette, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Sex

What Kind Of Sorry-Ass Man Drinks at Applebees?

Loud drunk man at bar to attractive woman leaving restaurant: Can I take you out to McDonald's sometime?
Woman: No, I'm married. Thanks for the offer, though.
Drunk man: Married? Well, shoot! Where's your husband at then?
Woman: He's working.
Drunk man: Working? Well, hell! I work sometimes too!

Applebee's
Beaufort, South Carolina

Posted on May 8, 2011
Drunks, Etiquette, Food, Offers and requests, Philosophy, Relationships, South Carolina, Women

Crime Really Doesn't Pay

Black guy on side of street to car passing slowly in traffic: Yo, I see you, don' need to roll ya window up, it's just a Honda, only get three stacks for it at the chop shop. (to friends) Shit, I get in the car and have you drive to the ATM machine, pop ya in the face, get ya pin number, withdraw $500. Receipt comes out 'insufficient funds'. Now I got to kill you.

Miami, Florida

Posted on January 31, 2011
Black people, Etiquette, Florida, Insults, Threats, Violence

Etiquette