I’ve Always Wanted to Be a Fascist

TSA agent, looking at ID: So Judy*, how are you doing today?
50-something woman: Fine. How are you?
TSA agent: You know, living the dream.

Security Terminal
Airport, Minneapolis

Posted on May 9, 2026
Airports & flights, Default, Employees, Etiquette, Happiness, Minnesota, Questions, Women

And Now the Judge Says I Can’t Babysit There?

Girl to fourteen classmates: I do *everything* in the bathroom!

The Melting Pot
New Jersey

Overheard by: supersecret!

Posted on May 8, 2026
Etiquette, Euphemisms, Girls, New Jersey, Restaurants, Students, Weirdness, Words

Ever Wonder What Happens to the Child Actors on SVU?

Mother to impatient son: Do you want to show me how you count?
Five-year-old: Ok. One. Two. Three. Fuck.
Mother: What!? Adam*, you know you’re not supposed to say…
Four-year-old: Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Mother: Adam*, I said stop! That’s a very, very bad word.
Four-year-old, putting hands on ears: You fuck, you fuck, you fuck.

Holt Renfrew
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: M

Posted on April 28, 2026
Canadia, Default, Etiquette, Insults, Kids, Moms, Should have used a condom, Stores, Weirdness, Words

Next Time Put the Message in a Bottle

Girl in stall: I have paper stuck in my vagina.
Friend: You might not want to say that, there’s people here.
Girl in stall: Why is vagina a bad word?

Ladies Room, Foreplay Bar
Portland, Maine

Overheard by: How did it get there?

Posted on April 27, 2026
Advice, Bars & Clubs, Default, Etiquette, Friends, Girls, Maine, Questions, Restroom, Stupidity, Vagina, Words

You Slept with Him in Chinese?

[Chinese girls whispering.]Girl #1 yells: What?! You slept with him last night and didn’t come home until three this morning?!
Girl #2 yells back: In Chinese, stupid!

Bus
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on April 13, 2026
Asians, Bus, Etiquette, Friends, Girls, Illinois, Language barrier, Offers and requests, Questions, Sex

So Thanks for Letting Me Into Yale

Hipster guy: Yeah, it probably didn’t help that I gave you poison ivy and then threw up on you.

Bar
Columbia, Missouri

Posted on March 24, 2026
Bars & Clubs, Default, Etiquette, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Hipsters, Maladies, Missouri, Relationships, Weirdness

Good to Know Fast Food Joints Are Just As Classy Outside the U.S.

Crazy hobo in McDonald’s line: Does the McDuplo come with fries?
Mcworker: Only if you get the combo. Would you like the combo?
Crazy hobo in McDonald’s line: Son of a bitch! This is McDonald’s. I want fries with my fucking sandwich. [he throws up on the floor, then walks away muttering.]Mcworker to other mcworker: I wish I was dead.

McDonald’s
Belo Horizonte
Brazil