If You’re Really Bad, I’ll Make You Go in the Ball Pit

Angry father, to young daughter: Do you wanna go to Chuck E. Cheese?
Daughter: [scared silence]Father: Then stop touching shit!

Wal-Mart
Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Molly BOOM

Posted on January 9, 2026
Dads, Default, Etiquette, Family, Food, Girls, Kids, New York, Offers and requests, Shopping, Stores, Wishes

But Apparently That’s Not How Job Interviews Work

Girl walking to bus stop drunk: I just wanted to walk in, get groped and leave.

Pheasant Run
Harrisonburg, Virginia

Overheard by: Brandon Call

Posted on January 8, 2026
Bimbettes, Compare and contrast, Default, Drunks, Etiquette, Girls, Gripes, Sexuality, Virginia, Wishes

Can You Even Use “Oxygen” As a Verb Like That?

Male flight attendant: … And if you brought more than two children with you today, decide which your favorite is and oxygen that one first.

Southwest Airlines Flight #135

Posted on January 5, 2026
Advice, Airports & flights, Compare and contrast, Default, Etiquette, Family ties, Flight attendants, Guys, Jerks, Offspring, Threats, Weirdness

Well, You’re Not Gonna Turn Kids Off Sex with the Truth!

Health teacher: Man, you girls these days! Wanting to have all the wrong kinds of fun… You know what, if a vagina was used by 15 different people, that vagina would probably be as wide as this door!

McNair Academic High School
Jersey City, New Jersey

Posted on January 3, 2026
Advice, Default, Education, Etiquette, Health & Hygiene, New Jersey, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sexuality, Teachers, Vagina

Kendra Wilkinson’s Major Life Accomplishment

Preppy girl on cell: the longest amount of time I’ve had pubic hair is three days.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: kt

Posted on January 1, 2026
Default, Etiquette, Gender issues, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Massachusetts, On the phone, Preppies, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sexuality, Shaving, Teens, Vagina

And Had a Dream About It.

Thug on cell: Fuck off, man. Don’t even try arguing with me. I’m a fucking expert on this shit. I wikipedia-ed it last night.

Carousel Mall
Syracuse, New York

Posted on December 31, 2025
Advice, Bragging, Default, Etiquette, Guys, Insults, Internet, Malls, New York, On the phone, Thugs

I’m Not Saying Your Assessment of Thomas Jefferson Is Wrong…

Student: Maybe he’s gay for the snake.
Teacher: Did you just say “gay for the snake”?!

Pleasantville High School
Pleasantville, New York

Posted on December 31, 2025
Animals, Body parts, Default, Etiquette, Euphemisms, New York, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sexuality, Students, Teachers, Words

At Least He’s Stopped Talking About His Turds.

Bitter guy: Girls don’t care about men, so I can’t relate to them. And men only care about sports, food, video games, and women. I do like to eat, but I hate women. I don’t like sports at all, and I’m soooo good at video games that other people can’t play with me because I am just too awesome.
Girl sitting at the table with him: Yeah…

University of Massachusetts
Amherst, Massachusetts

Posted on December 30, 2025
Bragging, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Dorks, Geeks & Nerds, Etiquette, Feelings, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Idiots, Massachusetts, Pride, Sexuality, Stupidity, Weirdness

Good to Meet a Gentleman Of the Old School

Dude: Hey I’m Eddie*.
Chick: Yeah, I know. I’m Lauren*. We’ve met before.
Dude: Oh. Yeah. Well I just thought we should know each other’s name since we’re talking about anal.

The Beta Bar
Tallahassee, Florida

Overheard by: just here for the show

Posted on December 29, 2025
Backdoor, Bars & Clubs, Chicks, Default, Etiquette, Florida, Guys, Names, Relationships

What’s This Irrational Fear of Joan of Arc?

Man on cell: I wouldn’t worry about her though, she’s dead.

Newark airport
Newark, New Jersey

Overheard by: catherine

Posted on December 29, 2025
Advice, Airports & flights, Death & dying, Default, Etiquette, Feelings, Guys, New Jersey, On the phone

Etiquette

At Least He’s Stopped Talking About His Turds.