British woman: Pardon me, I have to go get meself centered.
Yoga Studio
Los Angeles, California
British woman: Pardon me, I have to go get meself centered.
Yoga Studio
Los Angeles, California
Very drunk 20-something girl in miniskirt #1, singing: Fill my hole, fill my hole, fill my hole, fuh-uh-illlll my hole!
Very drunk 20-something in miniskirt #2#: Becky*! Don't sing that!
Very drunk 20-something girl in miniskirt #1#, singing off key: But I just waaaaant you to fuh-illll mah ho-alll!
Very drunk 20-something girl in miniskirt #2# to passing man: She's training to be a vet. She's not usually like this, she's had a bit too much to drink.
Man: Yeah… She wants someone to fill her hole.
Very drunk 20-something girl in miniskirt #1#: I'm not drunk!
Man: I believe you.
(very drunk 20-something girl in miniskirt 1# holds hand over mouth and impressively sprays vomit in five directions)
Very drunk 20-something in miniskirt #2#: Becky*, I think we're going to have to get a taxi…
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Student to another: You're an asshole!
Science teacher: If you're going to say that, you should use the proper term, which is “anus.”
High School
Auckland
New Zealand
20-something guy: My testicles are perfect!
Friends: [Silence.]50-something lady walking past: [Snicker.]
Cork
Ireland
Overheard by: sarah
Cashier on cell phone: I mean… What’s the problem? Ejaculating? Is he ejaculating too much or too little? Which is the problem?
Shoprite
New Jersey
Overheard by: allison
Diminutive Asian girl: Well, I think that…
English professor: Isn’t “Balls!” such a great expression? It’s just so… you know… I give you all permission to interject and interrupt this class by shouting “Balls!” at any time for the rest of the year. Sorry, go ahead with your comment.
Diminutive Asian girl: Well, I think that…
English professor: Balls!
www.overheardatyale.com
Overheard by: overheardatyale
Chick: No, if I take a shit I get the dish soap.
Guy: [nods understandingly].
George Washington University
Washington, DC
Professor: [the guest speaker] apologized for being so hard on you guys. Although she was kinda drunk when she did…
Student: That kinda compromises her honor.
Professor: Oh, trust me, her honor was compromised long before that.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Woman on cell: I just asked how’s he doing and he actually told me that he’s getting hard just talking to me. [Pause.] Well, what do you think I would say? “Oh ,that’s nice”!? Hell no! I said: “Oh crap! Sorry, I have another call, gotta go”. Yeah, that was definitely odd. Remind me never to be nice and try calling my exes again.
Florida
