Girls

Spoiled overtanned blonde: Oh my god, my ex just texted me to go fucking die. How do you spell “psycho?”

Philadelphia, Pennsyvania

Girl on phone: Yes, I know you love me, but I'm not going to keep coming to the house you share with your wife to give you blowjobs whenever you want! (pause) You need to find somewhere else for us to do it.

London
England

Girl: My aunt’s a kindergarten teacher, so she knows a lot of non-fags.

Wellesley College
Wellesley, Massachusetts

Loud girl on cell: Don't you think he might just be settling for you because he don't have no other choice? (pause) What I mean is, he's only marrying you because he can't find no one better? (pause) This is what I'm talkin' about. You don't know nothing. He don't want to marry you. He just is cause he ain't got nothing better to do. (pause) Yes, I am serious. Don't take that tone with me. I know what I'm talkin' about!

King of Prussia, Pennsylvania

Guy: Man, look at this guy! It's weird how they keep the eyelashes and hair on to keep them semi-human. You can see everything!
Girl: Um, are all penises so big?
Guy: I think it's due to preserving process.
Girl: I'm hungy.

Body Worlds Exhibit
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: 8lb Gem my ASS!!

Teenage girl: It's like every time we get close he backs out. I can't help to think it has something to do with his penis size.
Friend: Next time just throw him over your shoulder and take him back to the cave.

Santee, California

Overheard by: Story of my life

Drunk girl #1: (blows kiss to construction worker)
Drunk girl #2: You *so* just made his day!
Construction worker: Slut.

Exhibition Street
Melbourne, Australia

Fat girl filling out paperwork: Did I have any problems with my pregnancy? No. Well…I lost the baby…
Asian friend: Oh, well…just put “no.”

Planned Parenthood
San Diego, California

Overheard by: CINDI

College girl: Yeah, but I don't fuck my kids.
Friend: Well, you don't have any yet.
College girl, looking down: I can't believe I just checked my vagina before I answered that.

College Campus
SoCal, California

Girl to friend: I'm not an alcoholic.
Friend: I'm not an alcoholic, either.
Girl: Cheers to us not being alcoholics!

Austin, Texas