Gossip

College girl #1: So I met up with Jeremy last night.
College girl #2: Ah, the one with the small penis. Wait… No, Adam has the small dick. Jeremy’s the bad kisser, right?
College girl #1: To be fair, they’re both bad kissers. But yeah, Adam’s the one with the small dick.

Coffee shop
Iowa City, Iowa

Guy on cell: Oh, so you’re the one who likes horseshoe crabs!

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/10/sundays-suck.html

Overheard by: patricia

Hot young suit #1: What happened with your girlfriend?
Hot young suit #2: I manipulated her into a false sense of security, then rooted her, then dumped her — same as I did with Mandy. [After a pause] I’m not looking for praise.

Theatre
Sydney
Australia

Overheard by: Rosebyanothername

Guy: She makes her own salsa, too! And God, it’s good. Almost better than sex with a stranger, though I wouldn’t know what that was like.
Girl: I’m also a salsa maker.
Guy, laughing: Well, hello random…
Girl: No, we were talking about your mom making salsa… Until your side-trip to stranger-sex-land.

Huntington Beach, California

Overheard by: Jeff

Girl #1: I mean, her nickname in high school was “the scraper.”
Girl #2: Is that a bad abortion joke?

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Confused

Teen boy: Tell me something I don’t know.
Mom: I’m not your real mother!

Newbury Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Ashley

Guy #1: Dude, she was holding my hand and making out with Michelle at the same time.
Guy #2: Nice.

http://overheardatlc.blogspot.com/2007/01/beatles-rewritten.html

Freshman boy #1: Are you a man now?
Freshman boy #2: Yeah.
Freshman boy #3: It was that fast?

Outside Beaver [all girl’s dorm], Denison University
Granville, Ohio

Overheard by: L. A. DiLalla

Queer, when Bible-thumping lady splashes him with holy water: I’m a faggot, not a vampire. There’s a difference.

San Luis Obispo Gay Pride Festival
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Rish

Man on cell: No, Eileen’s not too happy with me. I filled her refrigerator with waffles… No, I can’t talk about it here.

Public library
Cincinnati, Ohio