You Ruined the Entire Experience Of Jerry Maguire for Me

American guy #1: Fuck, here I am, sitting on top of some fucking sandmountain in the goddam desert in Chile, god knows how far away from home, to watch some goddam sunset! And I'm not even on my fucking own, or with some hot chick. I'm sitting here with severeal hundred other people. It's such a fucking waste. It's kinda like sitting all alone in the movie theater, and then some dickhead comes and sits down next too you.
American guy #2: Yeah, I did that once!
American guy #1: I hate you. (walks away).

San Pedro de Attacama
Chile

Overheard by: Hege

Posted on August 2, 2018
Compare and contrast, Foreigners, Gripes, Guys, Insults, South America

Please Don’t Put Me Under Your Love-Handles and Carry Me Home

Young boy: I’m so hungry! Mom, I’m so hungry I could eat you! I’m so hungry I could eat a fat girl!
Mother: Don’t call people fat, that isn’t nice.
Young boy: I didn’t mean you.

Yavapai Regional Medical Center
Prescott, Arizona

Posted on July 31, 2018
Arizona, Default, Food, Gripes, Kids, Moms, Parenting

Why Did I Ever Make Her My Happy Place?

Lonely grad student: I need to get to work so I can stop thinking about Janet Reno’s naked body.

Court of Sciences, UCLA
Los Angeles, California

Posted on July 29, 2018
California, Gripes, Students

Not in This Relationship

Girl running up stairs: I ran three miles yesterday!
Boy out of breath: I’m wearing pants.

Boyertown High School, Pennsylvania

Posted on July 28, 2018
Clothes, Default, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Pennsylvania

But All You Have Are Seven Cats and a Yarn Collection!

Grandmother: I had to write you out of my will.
10-year-old grandson: What? Why?
Grandmother: You never called. I can’t give you money and things if you never call.
10-year-old grandson: But I love you.
Grandmother: You can’t just say it! You have to mean it and show it! I’m keeping you out of the will!

Target
Atlanta, Georgia