Girl #1: I have cows in my head!
Boy: What?
Girl #1: We're playing “Carry on Wayward Son” in orchestra. C-o-w-s.
Boy: Oh.
Girl #2: You really need to tell people that before you tell them you have cows in your head.
St. Joseph High School
Michigan
Girl #1: I have cows in my head!
Boy: What?
Girl #1: We're playing “Carry on Wayward Son” in orchestra. C-o-w-s.
Boy: Oh.
Girl #2: You really need to tell people that before you tell them you have cows in your head.
St. Joseph High School
Michigan
Chipper guy: Everyone in my family, except for my little brother I think, is suicidal. They're all just like “blah blah blah… kill myself.”
Florida Atlantic University
Overheard by: Kiwi
Guy at party: Well, I don't know if you can reduce Thoreau to pantheism…
Girl in Avatar face paint: Oh! Reduce!?
Berkeley, California
50-something guy on cell: Yeah, so honestly I don't think this will work out… I think your sexuality is a little… young for me.
Starbucks
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: dates older guys
Guy #1: Dude, don't get me wrong–Laura* is great, but she's kind of…
Guy #2: Young?
Guy #1: Yeah, but also…
Guy #2: Goofy?
Guy #1: Yeah, but also…
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: She's kind of… She looks like Mick Jagger.
Guy #2: Oh, if you're trying to tell me she's unattractive, I know. But at least she won't cheat on me. (pauses, then laughs) Yeah, she does look like Mick Jagger! Good one!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: wow, that's harsh
Guy: I think it's just every guy's fantasy to live with a giant black man and engage in tomfoolery.
Santa Clara University
California
Overheard by: Erin
Girl: Seriously, it's about this guy who fucks his clone and then wonders whether it's gay or masturbation. And that's the whole fucking book!
Guy, after thoughtful pause: No. Totally not gay.
UBC
Canadia
Guy to girl: If I had an iPhone I wouldn't need a girlfriend, I would just rub that…
Valparaiso University
Indiana
Overheard by: Rachel Kaiser
Guy with empty bud light box on head: I look like Cap'n Crunch!
Marquette, Michigan
Festival-going dude: Well, you know me when it comes to pizza and titties!
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: would you like fries with that?
