Girl #1, walking out of exam: I'm free! I'm finally free!
Girl #2: I hate your freedom. I want to punch your freedom in the face!
Auckland
New Zealand
Girl #1, walking out of exam: I'm free! I'm finally free!
Girl #2: I hate your freedom. I want to punch your freedom in the face!
Auckland
New Zealand
Math professor, after reading from textbook: I just lost all interest in life.
Portland, Oregon
Ranting professor: Say you're on a date, and your waiter places a bag of saltine crackers in front of you.
(students are puzzled)
Ranting professor: So, you're happy to have these crackers. But your date says to you: “Don't you see the filet mignon or the lobster?” But you can't see them! So you eat the crackers, and then you die. Then I go to your funeral.
Moorpark College
Moorpark, California
Overheard by: Amanduh
Emo boy: Matt! Tell her how you fucked up your face!
Matt: I was rubbing one out in the shower and when I came, my knees gave out and I hit my head on the faucet.
Emo girl (gasping and laughing hysterically): That is best thing I have ever heard!
Starbucks
New Mexico
Soccer mom to group of children: Okay, who's dead?
Several of the children, excitedly: I'm dead! I'm dead!
Outisde Trinity Rep
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Katie M
Woman (talking on the phone about a friend): She's happy as a clam since she had her uterus removed…
Husband (in the background): Happy as a clam without a uterus.
Woman: (glaring at him, keeps talking)
Husband: Happy as a clam without a uterus!
Dresden, New York
Overheard by: Rachel Bz.
Student, showing off his art project: On a scale of one to ten, with one being the lowest and ten being the highest, I was pretty happy with the way it turned out.
Madison, South Dakota
Emo girl to emo friend: They have a whole Harry Potter section…I love the world!
Borders
Manalapan, New Jersey
(two girls exit bathroom stall together)
Girl #1: It was such a pleasure watching you. It was bliss.
Elbo Room Bar
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: crafty biotech
