Confused chick: Excuse me, sir, I don’t know which line to go into… This says ‘resident,’ but I’m not from here — I’m from New York.
Homeland Security agent: It’s still this line.
O’Hare Airport immigration line
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: amused traveller
History professor: In New York the exit signs are red. They're like, “Fire! Get out!” In California the exit signs are green. They're like, “Dude, if you wanna get out, cool. If you like fire, if that's your thing, that's okay, too.”
Aurora, Illinois
Guy: I was really pissed off. Then you bit me on the shoulder. Three times.
Girl: (laughs hysterically)
DePaul University
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: University Peon
Girl #1: Yeah, and so I threw the Internet cord from the top of the fire escape down to the bottom instead of walking all the way down. It was pretty exciting.
Girl #2: Ummm, okay then…
Girl #1: Well, it was okay! It’s like throwing a baby down the stairs — you know you shouldn’t, but you do it anyway!
Girl #2: Okay…
Illinois
Man in t-shirt and jeans: Wait. Can I just be myself for one minute here? Can I?
Woman in classy cocktail dress: I don’t know, can you?
Man in t-shirt and jeans: [Farts loudly.]
Halsted Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Bardley
Male student to female, exiting class: I think maybe I’m just wasting my parents’ money.
Northwestern University
Evanston, Illinois
Overheard by: Muindi F. Muindi
Chick pointing at port-a-potty: Well, I guess I’m going to the bathroom now.
Dude: Do you fold or crumple?
Chick: This conversation has gone too far for me.
Dude: I fold. Well, depends on my mood.
Union Park
Chicago, Illinois
Girl #1: I am so excited for the Sex and the City movie!
Girl #2: Me too! We should go out for drinks before the movie. Not too many cuz then we will have to take potty brakes during the movie and I don't want to miss anything!
Girl #1: Oh, good call, maybe we should wear diapers. I would totally wear a diaper for this movie!
Girl #2: Totally!
Peoria, Illinois
Gangsta guy: So Brenda had sex with her cousin, but didn't know it was her cousin.
Woman: How do you do that?!
DePaul University
Chicago, Illinois
Drunk girl, loudly, to her drunk friends: I mean, she’s slept with or semi-slept with more people than I have!
Clark and Broadway
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: flunk_punk
