Hot lesbo #1: I wanna have your babies.
Hot lesbo #2: I wanna eat your babies.
Hot lesbo #1: I wanna eat your hair.

Piola Bar
São Paulo

Overheard by: touché

Lesbian to girlfriend: … That was back when I was dating this pharmacist and my sister-in-law decided to start this rumor that both of us were into this thing… [makes subtle fisting motion].

Elevator, Penrose Hospital
Colorado Springs, Colorado

Lesbian: People eat testicles here, too?!


Overheard by: orly

Boi lesbian talking to shorter boi lesbian: Those motherfuckers are sweet as shit. Those bitches make me sick.

Tacoma, Washington

Overheard by: Maybe she likes them to be mean?

Quirky lesbian professor leading class in Kegel exercises: And everybody squeeze, hold, hold…release and squeeze, two, three…release.
Ditzy Indian, after shiver spasm: It gives me the willies!
Quirky lesbian professor: It's great, right!

Health Ed Class
Borough of Manhattan Community College, New York

Overheard by: Trying not to laugh at all the serious faces trying to hide these private exercises

Soccer mom: I can't believe I was able to convince my husband that I was gay.

Museum of Fine Arts
Boston, Massachusetts

Lesbian: You might think I’m weird, but what if we put in rubber floors?
Girlfriend: Um, no. [Lesbian #1 stalks off toward drywall materials, muttering under her breath.]

Home Depot
Plymouth Meeting, Pennsylvania

Drunk lesbian to sober girlfriend: Aw, I wanna puke but I can't!
Sober girlfriend: I would punch you in the stomach if you wanted …that's how much I love you.
Drunk lesbian: Awww, that's sweet.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Claire

Lesbian bartender: I am so mad right now.
Gay bartender (affectionately touching her cheek): Awwww…honey… You shaved!

Boston, Massachusetts

Lesbo to another: I know! And all I knew is that all I could smell was my best friend’s vagina.

Gay pride festival, Volunteer Park
Seattle, Washington