Massachusetts

Little girl, excitedly building snowman: Mommy, look, look! This could be his hat!
Mother: No, Shelly.
Little girl, dejectedly: But mommy…
Mother, exasperated: No! It's not even proportionate to the snowman!

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Only in Boston…

Little girl in changing stall: I feel a Britney Spears moment coming on!

Salvation Army
Hadley, Massachusetts

Conductor over loudspeaker: Diana, I have your clothes… Diana, the head conductor has your clothes.

MBTA Commuter Rail
Boston, Massachusetts

Girl #1: I have to gloat a little. Who's the perv now, bitches?
Girl #2: Still us.
Girl #1: Well, duh, still us. But now them, too!
Girl #2: Totally.

Maynard, Massachusetts

Girl: It was like a porno, but with a plot!

University of Massachusetts

Overheard by: Robin

Young suit #1: Oh, yeah, I start my steroids tomorrow.
Young suit #2: Oh, that’s good. I need to do that.

Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Rose

Teen #1 coming out of arrival gate to friend: So, when do we start coughing, sneezing and squealing to freak people out?
Teen #2: Dude, people with the swine flu don't squeal!
Teen #1: Then why the hell do they call it that?
Teen #2, jokingly: Because you have to fuck a pig to get it?
Teen #1, seriously: Well, that makes sense!

Logan Airport
Boston, Massachusetts

Moody college girl on phone: No, I have to go the macro class right now and pretend to be a Republican. If you don't agree with the professor, you're wrong.
(pause)
Moody college girl: Yeah, if I can pull this off I deserve an Emmy, or an Oscar. Hell, I'll take a cookie!

Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts

Philosophy professor: After all, is it okay to go pee out in the open in a public place like a park?
Girl: Wait, well… Like, when?

Boston College
Massachusetts

Shorter kid playing basketball to taller kid: Your dad bought your mom at Ikea!

Watertown, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Ariel