All I Said Was, “Stop Doing It in My Class”

Girl: Are you seriously telling me how I should masturbate? When did you become a sex tyrant?

MIT
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Posted on November 7, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Default, Girls, Gripes, Massachusetts, Masturbation, Questions

Best. Peer Advisor. Ever.

Curious friend: Doesn't your mouth get tired?
Small Asian girl: That's what my hands are for!
Curious friend: Don't your arms get tired?!
Small Asian girl: That's what my mouth is for!
Curious friend: What do you do when both get tired?
Small Asian girl: Oh, that's when he puts it in my butt.

Hoboken, New Jersey

Posted on April 25, 2020
Asians, Ass, Backdoor, BJs, Friends, Girls, Hands, Masturbation, Mouth, New Jersey, Questions, Weirdness

…Since HR Told Him He Had to Start Giving Us Warnings

Call center girl to coworker who just hung up: Did he tell you he was going to come over here and rub one off?

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/325426424/at-least-he-gave-you-a-head-start.html

Overheard by: keep him away from my potato salad

Posted on January 20, 2020
Coworkers, Masturbation, Overheard in Minneapolis, Questions

I’m the Thing I Have Sex to Forget About

Suit: I can’t masturbate to a picture of myself!

Maine

Posted on November 25, 2019
Maine, Masturbation, Suits

So I’m Almost Always Sore, N-4

Bingo number caller: I pick up lots of chicks, G-56. But when I don’t, I masturbate, B-8.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/04/saturdays-are-pretty-dope.html

Overheard by: bingo player

Posted on October 4, 2019
Coworkers, Masturbation, Overheard at Cornell

Speaking Of Things That Need to Stay in Vegas

Guy, telling everyone about a massage: You know how grandma's hands are real soft?

Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Craig

Posted on July 23, 2019
Family ties, Guys, Hands, Masturbation, Nevada, Questions, Sensory experiences

…Question Mark.

Teen: I couldn't tell if he meant “stop, exclamation point,” “don't, exclamation point,” or if he meant “don't stop, exclamation point.”
Friend: What did you do?
Teen: Look, that handjob wasn't going to finish itself, and I have a reputation, so I had no choice.
Friend: You're a goddamn trooper.

Syracuse Mall
Syracuse, New York

Overheard by: Just Exclaming!

Posted on June 20, 2019
Friends, Language barrier, Masturbation, New York, Words

For Today's Lab, You Won't Need Partners

Teaching assistant to bunch of anatomy students: When in doubt, touch yourself!

Cleveland State University, Ohio

Posted on May 17, 2019
Advice, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Masturbation, Ohio, Students, Weirdness

Using Implements No Man Can Match

Hot chick #1: I just cannot get off during sex.
Hot chick #2: That’s because you masturbate too much.
Hot chick #1: Oh.

Lebanese Taverna
Washington, DC

Posted on April 25, 2019
Chicks, Masturbation, Washington, DC

And Don’t Even Get Me Started on This Banana Lamp

[Two 18-year-old girls are browsing a table full of random items for sale at a Christian thrift store at a local church.]Girl #1: This candle holder would probably feel great inside my pussy.
Girl #2, barely startled: Haha. Yeah.
Girl #1: Ooh, this shirt is nice!

Gothenburg
Sweden

Overheard by: Donny Boots

Posted on March 22, 2019
Clothes, Etiquette, Girls, Masturbation, Sensory experiences, Stores, Sweden, Toys, Vagina

Masturbation