Masturbation

Guy: Okay, but what’s the biggest problem?
Girl: It’s so annoying! Every time I go into her room she’s masturbating!

http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/04/12/guy-does-she-have-a-roommate-for-next-year-yet/

Guy: … Because the pope touches himself. That’s my answer for the first question. That’s my answer to any question, really.

History class
Halifax, Nova Scotia
Canadia

Overheard by: Kaiti

Anthropology teacher: That's just like saying the point of sex is to have an orgasm. If that were the case you could do it yourself! There's no need to involve another person!

University of Delaware

Overheard by: Terrance Williams

Physics professor: What do you do to amuse yourselves? You don't play with yourselves?

Guelph
Canadia

Girl on cell: She said that she used her vibrator so much last week, she thought her vagina was going to swell up and fall off.

Walmart
Atlanta, Georgia

Weird guy: Did you guys have fun last night?
Weirder guy: Oh, yeah. She jerked me off. But I'm allergic to latex, so she used neoprene gloves from the lab where she works.
Weird guy: Niiiice.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: That sounds so unpleasant.

Guy to group of friends: I don't think I could ever do anything like that.
Girl: Oh, is this about the circle jerk?

Los Angeles, California

College boy #1: If I were a T-Rex I would fuck shit up.
College boy #2: Yeah, but good luck masturbating.

Hendrix College
Arkansas

Overheard by: College Girl Walking By

Guy outside of dressing room: Dude, what are you doing?
Guy in dressing room: I’m having some me time.
Guy outside of dressing room: I’m bored. (thinks about it for several seconds) I’ll be looking at belts.
Guy in dressing room: I’ll be looking at me.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/310148350/can-you-just-see-his-point-n-wink.html

Overheard by: business casual

College girl: So how do you masturbate?
Friend: I hump my desk.
College girl: Wait…really?!
Friend: Yeah, it's great. I can go from nothing to orgasm in like, 20 seconds.

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania