Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore.”

30-something woman on cell: Yeah, the crow was annoying, but at least it wasn't masturbating.

Framingham, Massachusetts

Posted on February 13, 2019
Birds, Gripes, Massachusetts, Masturbation, Weirdness, Women

When Everything We Do for Them Fails

Nerd #1: Everything men do in their lives is for women.
Nerd #2: Except masturbation — that’s for us.

Gainesville, Florida

Posted on January 19, 2019
Dorks, Geeks & Nerds, Florida, Masturbation

Psh, You're Lucky If the Guy Stops Masturbating Long Enough to Have Sex

Girl #1: You're more likely to have a boy if the guy hasn't masturbated in awhile.
Girl #2: Really?
Girl #1: Yeah, my professor said so!

Sather Gate
UC Berkeley, California

Posted on June 14, 2018
California, Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Girls, Masturbation, Questions, Stupidity

When Yonkers Girls Make a Sexual Availability Statement

Roller girl: Whoa! That's a vagina you could accidentally fist.

Yonkers, New York

Posted on December 31, 2017
Girls, Masturbation, New York, Vagina, Weirdness

Not Much of a ‘Break’ at All, Really

Girl: So, what did you do over the break?
Guy: Well, I beat off a lot.

Saugeen snack bar
http://overheardatwestern.blogspot.com/2007/03/wanna-share-this-cookie.html

Overheard by: eric

Posted on April 7, 2017
Masturbation, Overheard at Western, Students

On My Deck

Girl #1: How do you like your place?
Girl #2: I've got a huge deck!
Girl #1: You were one letter away from making me a very happy woman.
Girl #2: I was one letter away from making myself a very happy woman. If I had that, I'd go fuck myself.

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: aoK

Posted on December 9, 2016
Girls, Happiness, Maryland, Masturbation, Penis, Sex

…She Put Two Drinks Up There?

Sorority girl to another, sitting in booth: Girl, I was double-fisted all night long last night!
Gay dude #1, quite loudly, to gay dude #2: Oh my god! That is so nasty! Who on earth would ever say something like that out in public! I wouldn't want anyone to know that anyone could do anything like that to me, let alone enjoy it! Nasty bitches!
Gay dude #2 to gay dude #1, very quietly: Um, I think she meant she had a drink in both hands, you idiot.
Gay dude #1: Oh.

Chinese Restaurant
Lexington, Kentucky

Overheard by: j-we